Joanna Naomi

Just a couple of pics to start with...

2012-01-07T22:09:00.002+13:00

Our Garden Makeover!

2011-12-24T18:57:00.004+13:00

8 months and 2 days ago Tahu and I started on a bit of a major revamp of our gardens. Every few weekends we'd work on it a bit more, including rebuilding the fence and painting it, clearing all the ground, building the gardens and filling them with soil, planting, maintaining and weeding and then we had a guy come and lay the bark for us cos we ran out of time before Christmas. Next year we will lay grass there but for now it's Christmas, we're about to get married and we have gorgeous gardens.

Here's the before and after photos:

This is our front yard which for some reason I didn't take a before photo of.

Click on the images to see them bigger.

Neither of us had any experience in the gardening thing but I knew what I wanted and with a bit of help from our Dads and my mum we have finished! I've had a lot of fun finding the plants we wanted including mini calli lillies, asiatic lillies, normal and mini gladioli, ferns, manuka flowers and then our vege garden that has carrots, brocolli, leaks, spinach, lettuce, tomatos and potatos.

Was a big job but I am so glad we did it!

2011-12-05T11:15:00.001+13:00

There’s a story in the bible that I remember from when I was little. It’s about a widow and her son who were down to the last of their food. All they had left was enough oil and flour to make one more meal and after that they didn’t know what they would do. Then a prophet came along and asked her to feed him. She knew it meant that they wouldn’t be able to eat but she did it anyway. The prophet knew what she had done for him and so made it so that the jars that held her oil and flour never got empty. I always think of them as really big clay jars that you dip your bowl or cup into and you can’t see the contents of the jar but there’s always more in there.

I often think of this story when I’m folding my washing. It doesn’t matter how much I pull out of the basket and fold, there’s always more in there.

Today I feel....

2011-11-11T09:56:00.000+13:00

Beautiful.

Not long to go!!

2011-11-09T20:43:00.003+13:00

We're off to Rarotonga this weekend for a wedding. So exciting! Neither of us have been to a tropical island before.

Last week we got our invites out! 8 weeks to go tomorrow. Just realised we can go and get our marriage license when we get back. Now that will be exciting!!

56 days to go!!

Cashel Mall is re-opening

2011-10-28T22:19:00.002+13:00

But I'm really not ready to go back there yet. It's over 8 months but sometimes I remember like it was just today. I remember so much and then at the same time there's blank spots too. I remember the unrealness of it. Of trying to make my way through Cashel Mall and the buildings were all down and the alarms and sirens were going and everyone was yelling and covered in dust and blood and scanning every face looking for Chrissy and James. I so clearly remember getting to the CTV building and standing there for what felt like ages going "what am I looking at". I remember thinking that there couldn't have been a building there. I thought there must have been a carpark or something. There was such a big fire. There were people standing on the rubble and I just didn't understand what I was looking at. It felt like ages that I stood there looking at it trying to work out what I was looking at. I took a photo on my phone (even though I'd felt angry seeing others taking photos in Cashel Mall) because I wanted to show Tahu and Mum and Dad what I'd seen cos I didn't think they'd see it. I will be forever grateful that I didn't know I was looking at literally over 100 people dying. Being crushed and burnt and dying.

I remember searching and asking and looking and praying for Chrissy and James. And so clearly that moment of turning around and there was Chrissy. It was a moment like in the movies when there's that light shining down on the person and the place goes silent or something. There was Chrissy. I think about that moment often. That day was just pain. Pain and Blur except for that moment.

I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to protect her from everything we were seeing and feeling. The smoke was terrible. I talked to her about what we were doing to keep safe, I tried to make her not look at anything. I wanted to be the grown up and stop her seeing and feeling everything we were going through but I couldn't. I think back and wonder why I picked that route to get to James. I took the longer route. I just had no idea.

I know I've written about all this before. And you're probably sick of reading this but it's my way of dealing with it. Writing it down. Hoping someone will read it and might understand what I felt. Or what I feel.

Sometimes it feels like everyone is healing and I am still just remembering everything.

I saw footage of the Turkey quake and I recognised and felt just what was on those people's faces. I know I talk about it a lot. I know I think about it a lot, but how can I not? Everywhere you go there are more and more buildings coming down. Over 1000 buildings. Drive around your neighbourhood and think about what it woud look like if that many buildings came down? Look at your skyline and think about what it would look like if most of it was gone? Tonight I'm exhausted by it. I'm so tired of ~~waiting for~~, ~~wondering about~~, knowing there will be another one.

I read the stories of survivors 2, 3, 4 days later being found in Turkey and I'm jealous. We didn't have that. I really thought we would and I watched the news waiting for those miracles but there weren't any. Nothing after 24 hours or something. There are many stories of miracles of people who should have been somewhere and they were. I have my own miracle in finding Chrissy. But there were no miracle survivor stories for us.

Rokocoko loves me I think

2011-09-28T09:45:00.003+13:00

This morning I was too asleep to give Roko his usual morning cuddle and then had to rush to get ready. He did however come hang out with me in the bathroom while I was in the shower (a little creepy) and then cleaning my teeth. I picked him up and he purred so hard and cuddled into me and put his head on my shoulder and I'm pretty sure I could hear him singing Snow Patrols Chasing Cars:

"If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

And just forget the world"

He was so cute I decided I didn't care if I was late to work!

If I were to win lotto...

2011-09-10T16:54:00.002+12:00

There is one thing that was important about my childhood that I think has shaped a big part of who I am. And I'd say all my siblings would agree with me on this one. We didn't have a TV. Because of this my parents didn't have the luxury of being able to send us off to watch a movie or whatever if they'd had enough. They had to find things for us to do and then teach us how to find things ourselves as we got older. And so we did. We baked, gardened, played games, were read to and then read when we learnt how to, sewed, played cricket as a family, you name it we did it. And I only remember it being great. There was always something to do. And because of this, now that I'm an adult, I don't get bored. If I say I'm bored what it actually means is there's something I'd rather be doing.

And so it actually makes me really annoyed when people say they wouldn't quit their jobs if they won lotto. Or if they have a couple of days off they start moaning about how they've got cabin fever and they're so bored rah rah rah. Seriously? You can't think of millions of things you'd rather be doing than working? You can't think of better ways to fill your time? I can promise you, if I won lotto and quit my job, I would not get bored! There are so many places to visit, things to see and do, people to see, books to read, movies to watch, food to be baked, places to volunteer, sleep to be slept and I'm not even halfway through the list here! I could build a house, I could travel to everywhere I want to go, I could shop till my hearts content, read all the books on my shelf (plus a few more that I'd probably buy during my shopping sprees), watch all those movies I have on my harddrive, bake for everyone and anyone (and me), cook dinners that are more exciting, have babies, do a photography course, run, bike, walk, visit my friends and family that I never have time to see, stitch all the cross stitch I could want to, learn to sew. And if I really did use up all my ideas then I'd start a cafe that wasn't really for profit, just a cool place where I could make the food I love and bake amazing cakes and make people happy that way. Ok I'm getting depressed here cos I just can't do all that stuff! There's not enough hours in my day!

My mum was right when she said "only boring people get bored". Because we never had the option of just sitting and watching whatever was on, we developed this important skill of being able to entertain ourselves! Of always being able to find things to do. And when people get all amazed that I never watched Sesame Street or Care Bears or all those movies like ET that came out when we were little, it doesn't bother me because I know that I have something way more important then a love of hand puppets!! And that's just one of the many things I have to thank my parents for.

Sleeping rough

2011-09-09T16:48:00.004+12:00

Rokocoko has decided that sleeping on the folded washing in the washing basket is the best.

Well second best actually. Cos sleeping underneath the unfolded washing seems to be pretty great too.

One year ago today

2011-09-04T04:36:00.000+12:00

It amazes me that it's a year. And I know I've said thatloads of time but it just does. Sometimes it feels like this is all new. Othertimes I struggle to remember what life is like without earthquakes. Was allthat just a dream? And so this moment seems like a special moment. It's thelast few moments before our lives changed. And so it seems a good moment tothink about what exactly has changed and I think the best way to list thatwould be in the things I've learnt this year.

In no particular order, I have learnt:

- That earthquakes sometimes have a sound, a low rumble, ora loud roar

- Sometimes earthquakes don’t have a rumble; sometimes theyjust hit your house (and make you have to go change your knickers!)

- That the sound earthquakes have can sound just like manyother sounds we never noticed, like trucks, wind, trains, sliding doors, catdoors swinging...you name it, I can mistake it for an earthquake

- The word liquefaction and what it means

- What the Mercallli scale is

- That telling me the Richter scale measurement of anearthquake is not enough; I need to know depth and proximity to civilisationbefore I make a judgement.

- The pure panic you can feel when you realise you don’thave your cellphone with you

- The generosity that humans have the capacity for in timesof disaster

- The complete lack of empathy and sympathy andunderstanding that disasters can highlight in some people!

- That the feeling of the moments sometimes simply can’t beexplained: trying to find my niece and nephew after Feb 22^ndearthquake is one but also the moment at the memorial service when the usar andother volunteers arrived and everyone spontaneously stood applauding them. Orthe moment I realised our September earthquake had be stronger than the Haitiearthquake.

- The pure panic when you realise you don’t have any bottledwater left

- That even a 7.1 earthquake and a state of civil emergencycan’t get you a day off work sometimes!

- That some people are idiots. There’s no other explanation.You can’t predict earthquakes. The earthquakes are not caused by some randomexperiment in Australia. The earthquakes are not caused by drilling for oilsand minerals. Oh that list could go on.

- That Earthquake Brain is real and valid

- That the ability for the human brain to shut down and notlet you understand or comprehend is actually an absolute blessing sometimes. Ithink about that Tuesday as I stood in front of the CTV building trying to workout what I was looking at and seeing that massive fire etc and I am so relievedI didn’t understand. That I didn’t know over 100 people were dying right infront of me in varied and cruel ways. And that I can’t remember some thingsfrom that day.

- That miracles happen. I have no other words for my findingChrissy among the thousands of people that day. No other explanation. And thenthat the first time I tried to call James when he wasn’t replying to my textsthat I got through to him. It wasn’t me,it wasn’t fate, it wasn’t luck, it was a miracle.

- That we adapt. Well our sleeping does. I thought sleepingthrough a 4 was impressive, this week we almost slept through a 5! Well we wokeup but only enough to go wow that was big and go back to sleep!

- That how far you are from the epicentre greatly affectshow strong it feels to you

- That you can get really good at guessing location andmagnitude of earthquakes. For example, if there’s no rumble then chances are it’sreally close to you. Or if there is swaying afterwards then it’s probably quitea way from you.

- That the Rumble to Earthquake and Epicentre relationshipis like the Lightning to Thunder and Storm relationship. The bigger the gap betweenlightning and thunder the further away the storm is. The more of the rumble youhear before you feel the quake, the further away the epicentre is.

Ok I really could keep going with this one but I think it’stime to stop! I think I’ve got my point across: this year has been truly eventfuland we have learnt so much. Some of it funny, some of it painful, some of ituseful, some of it downright useless.

This is not a year we will ever forget. I hope it is also ayear that we never repeat!

Who are these people???

2011-09-03T22:35:00.001+12:00

Who reads my blog?? Sometimes I go to the stats section and it shows all these countries where people have been viewing my blog from. I would LOVE to know some of my readers. Write me a comment! Tell me your name, location and how you found me. (Oh God please let someone read this and comment)

To give you an idea, here are my stats for countries for this last week only:

If I could add a background song you'd be hearing "Whooooo are you...who who who who" (think CSI).

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

2011-08-26T11:54:00.002+12:00

I feel like maybe I'm getting there. Like the months after the earthquake were in the dark and that maybe I can see the stairs now.

2011-08-22T20:18:00.003+12:00

My beautiful niece has put her experience down and I think it is well worth a read.

Chrissys Earthquake Story

Better get the Tena out...

2011-08-16T20:07:00.001+12:00

Possibly the best blog post ever!

Rokocoko decides he LOVES the snow!

2011-08-15T20:25:00.002+12:00

Understandably Impossible to Understand

2011-08-15T10:57:00.002+12:00

It is very rare that you know exactly what everyone in your family is doing at a given moment when you are all in different places. Like right now, I have an idea but I couldn’t tell you exactly what they were all doing. But I can tell you for the moment of 12.51pm on Feb 22^nd 2011.

Dad – had just gone inside for some lunch

Mum – about to open the door at Coffee Culture Beckenham

Deb and Annie Rose – driving on Opawa Road, coming up to St Marks church

James – sitting by the Bridge of Remembrance

Chrissy – walking up Cashel Street from Cashel Mall, coming up to the Hotel Grand Chancellor

David – by Pak n Save Moorhouse

Me – Standing in Dee’s office

Reuben – at Opawa School

Tahu – working at a house in Opawa with another guy

And we know that moment and we will never forget that moment and the moments (minutes, hours, days, weeks, months…) afterwards. And we actually all know what we were doing at 4.36am on Sept 4^th 2010 as well. Although that one is pretty easy to work out! We were all in bed! (Different ones in most cases!).

It is coming up a year. I’m dreading it to be honest. I can’t even get my head around that first one but that we have had over 8300 (and counting) since just blows my mind. And as it should. Life in New Zealand is amazing, we are so lucky, if not the luckiest! We have an amazing mix of Island life as well as being a leader in the world in many areas. And now we are almost a year into it and life is continuing as normal! There is still life, death, happiness, sadness, successes, failures, exciting stuff, boring stuff. I feel like it should all stop! Like it’s disrespectful to the huge change in our lives!

I wrote a post a while ago about all the questions I had and some of those are answered but there’s many more in their place. Like will I ever not flinch when a truck goes past? Will I ever be able to look at a building and not judge it on its earthquake safety and what would happen if it fell? Will I ever see a construction or building site and not think “Earthquake Damage” and the same with cracks in the pavement?

Recently the plan for Christchurch was released and it looks amazing. There are high hopes and great plans in place. It will be an amazing place but it is a long way away. 15-20 years in some cases. Christchurch will be great but it’s going to take a while. It was a nice moment when I realised that reading that proposal made me feel good about being in Christchurch for the first time in months.

September was bad, I’ll never forget that. But when I think about that first morning as I lay on the couch in the lounge with Nat, Madi, Odette and Tahu and listened to them all sleeping I’m amazed at how naïve I was of what was to come. That is the beauty of not knowing the future though isn’t it. If I had known what was to come I don’t know if I could have handled it. I remember thinking how if this wasn’t over soon I’d get in the car and go and drive and find a big empty paddock or park and sleep in the middle of it without fear of something falling on me. I had no idea!!

I remember that day when we finally got power back and going straight online to see how ours compared to Haiti and that sick and shocked feeling when we realised ours was worse. Slightly stronger, slightly shallower, a million times less destructive.

And watching youtube videos of Chile and again feeling sick and in shock as this time I could feel what they felt. You can’t understand a massive earthquake until you’ve actually felt one. The Te Papa Earthquake House has nothing on a real one!

Recently I became aware that there are people reading this blog looking for bad things, either that I say or that have happened to me and it put me off writing about how there’s earthquakes are affecting me because I hated the thought of someone being pleased with it. But I realise now that it’s their issue not mine and that it is better for me to get this written down and that it may help others. I find that as soon as I say “I’m not handling it well” that almost always people will agree and start sharing how they are feeling and their experiences. There’s not a single person here who isn’t changed by what has happened. I definitely am. But somehow, sometime, I have to make that change a positive. But you’d have thought a year on it would be all done and over!

The Inflatable Boy

2011-05-14T13:13:00.001+12:00

There's this inflatable boy and he goes to this inflatable school and, while there, finds himself having a really bad day. Bored with the lesson, he gets up and walks out of the inflatable classroom but, while walking down the corridor he sees the inflatable headmaster approaching him.

The inflatable boy pulls out a pin and punctures the inflatable headmaster before running out of the inflatable school gates. Just as he gets past the gates, he thinks again, "I hate school", and once more pulls out his pin and pokes it into the inflatable school. He then runs as fast as his inflatable legs allow, all the way home and races into his inflatable bedroom.

A couple of hours later, his inflatable mother is knocking at his bedroom door and with her are the inflatable Police. Panicking, our inflatable boy yet again pulls out the pin and jabs it into himself. Later on that evening, he wakes up in an inflatable hospital and, in the bed next to him, he sees the inflatable headmaster.

Shaking his deflated head - more in sorrow than in anger - the Headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down; you've let the school down, but worst of all, you've let yourself down."

And that ladies and gentleman...is one of my all time favourite jokes!

2011-05-03T10:25:00.002+12:00

"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

Martin Luther King Jr

I bought a bunch of grapes on the weekend...

2011-04-26T15:02:00.003+12:00

...and it got me thinking:

There's nothing like a great bunch of green seedless grapes. When you go to get them you have a look and you can spot rotten ones so you pull them off before you take them home. So you get this bunch of fantastic looking grapes. And after a bit it may become obvious that one of the grapes is rotten. You'll need to get rid of that one or it will spoil the whole lot. Sometimes you don't catch it in time and it spoils a few around it but you get rid of those too and then you're back to your great bunch of grapes. It's a shame cos you have less than what you started with but it's still better than no grapes right? And it makes you really appreciate the grapes you've got.

Grapes can be eaten on their own or with other things or they can be turned into wine or they might even go wrinkly and shriveled (raisins) but they're still great. You just have to make sure you get rid of the rotten ones or you'll lose them all. Those rotten ones might continue to smell for a bit when they're in the bin but that just reminds you why you didn't keep them in the first place. Whether they fell off the bunch or you pulled them off, it's still your choice to put them in the bin.

A lot like friends really. There's nothing like a great bunch of friends...

Time for a photo blog...

2011-04-19T20:42:00.002+12:00

So as you know Tahu and I now have our very own little home and I thought I'd take some pictures of some of my favourites things (excluding Tahu and Roko of course).

My new spice rack

Our beautiful quilt rack with quilts made with love by Deb

Old school milk bottles (for decoration, serving no real purpose!)

The mother chicken to hold our eggs that has been in my family for several decades

A duck that should hold eggs but (as I already have mother hen and I didn't have the heart to throw the duck out it) now holds our plastic bags

Dignity...he doesn't have any!

2011-04-18T14:42:00.001+12:00

That's how I found him sleeping this afternoon. It's cold and rainy out and I have the house all nice and warm to try and get our washing dry. And he obviously likes it.

Well I feel sick seeing this...

2011-04-15T15:32:00.001+12:00

Just had a look in my sent items of my work emails cos I can't use them at the moment and I was trying to find something I'd sent a client. All the emails were from Tuesday 22nd Feb, including the last one I sent:

Click on the image to see it enlarged

I felt physically sick seeing that. I don't know why. I guess it's the closest record I have of life before. I had no idea. I sent that email and went to make some lunch. One of the things that I really struggle with is getting my head around how we just had no warning. We had no idea. How do I feel safe again after that?

Rokocoko is home!

2011-04-12T18:11:00.003+12:00

Tahu and I are now living in our own place and one of the highlights of this is that we could have Rokocoko back to live with us. For the last 3 or so years he has been living with Mum and Dad. First with me and then when I moved overseas and came back to Christchurch and lived at petless flats, he's stayed on. So now he's back here and he's loving it. He is around a lot, sleeps on our bed, lots of purring. He follows us around and hangs out with us until we go to bed when he goes too. And so I've taken a few pics on my phone, at first to show mum and dad but then just cos he was cute. I have finally charged the batteries on my camera so hopefully the quality will improve!

Watching TV with Mummy

Hanging out with Daddy

Out to it on the bed in the office/spare room while Mummy works

While we watch TV I like to have my paw touching Mummy

Sometimes Mummy brings my bed into the office/spare room

Earthquake pictures

2011-03-20T20:22:00.003+13:00

Today I went for a drive across town to visit my uncle and aunty and to take them some cakes and biscuits. It took me 3 times longer than it usually would as everywhere you have to drive at no more than 30 because of the damage. On the way home I took some pictures of a bridge and a road that I saw. The bridge was actually damaged in the Sept earthquake but the road damage happened on Tues 22nd.

Oops!

2011-03-12T22:54:00.002+13:00

Not sure why my last post was in Webdings but now it should be readable. I wondered what Mum was on about!

Some of my questions have been answered!

2011-03-08T12:11:00.004+13:00

Phew! It feels a lot better at least knowing some things. Firstly, Tahu didn't lose his job!! Fantastic news, all of their clients still want double glazing. Well except 3. He starts back on Monday.

Secondly, Deb is property manager for her husbands aunty and their tenant just gave notice so Tahu and I will be moving in at the end of the month. We're so excited. Will be our own wee place and we can have a garden and there's a sunroom and a bath and we can have Rokocoko. We're not looking forward to the moving part though! Guess who is paying for removalists again! We have way too much stuff to do it ourselves!

Tahu was planning on studying instead of working so we will get him into the night course instead so he gets to do both! That helps with the money but also just helps get him closer to starting his apprenticeship.

Also my ipad has been rescued. I get it back next week.

We still don't know how to get past the earthquake and the experience and all that but these 2 weeks up north have helped heaps and having jobs and a new place is also going to help. And Rokocoko! My parents have been loving and caring for him for me for the last couple of years.

Ok got to go do more work. But it's a start at least.

This made me smile

2011-03-06T12:06:00.002+13:00

This is a picture from the Stuff website of a dog that was involved in searching for survivors in Christchurch last week. Love his wee shoes!

30 Questions...just to name a few!

2011-03-05T21:32:00.002+13:00

Do we stay in Christchurch or do we go somewhere else?

If we stay, do we keep living where we are or do we get our own place? Where will Tahu work? Will I be able to work from home or will I have to go back to an office? Will the aftershocks stop? Will there be no more big ones? Will we be safe? Will we ever feel safe? Will I ever stop worrying about what could happen whenever I’m not with my family or friends?

If we go, where do we go? Do we stay in New Zealand or go overseas? Melbourne? Sydney? Auckland? Brisbane or Gold Coast? Perth? Not Timaru or Wellington that’s for sure! Wellington is nice but I’m not leaving one lot of earthquakes for a city which has them regularly! Will Tahu be able to get work? Where would we live? Would we go there permanently or just for a few months? Would we flat with other people? Move in with family? Get our own place? And what do we do with all our stuff? We have 2 cars and a house load of furniture, almost 30 years of memories each and 6 months of fear to deal with.

And what about our plans, will we still be able to save for the wedding in Rarotonga that Tahu is a best man for? Our wedding? Our honeymoon? We will have so many more costs if we move. Will we be able to travel and be able to not worry about everyone back in Christchurch?

What about each of our experiences of that day? For those of us in Christchurch that felt it and saw it first hand or for those out of town who have to comfort us from afar? When do we start processing all of this? It feels too soon, too raw to start just yet.

And while all of this goes through our minds over and over and over again there is still that thought in the back of my mind that says “what are you complaining about! You survived! Your family survived! Your friends survived! Your house is still in one piece!”

30 Questions…just to name a few!

A couple of pictures from our place

2011-02-23T19:20:00.003+13:00

Tuesday 22nd February 2011: 12.51 pm

2011-02-23T16:58:00.005+13:00

I have so many things going on in my head right now and I really feel I need to get this all down so let's try. I will start with what happened for me and I'll put pictures I've taken from news sites of things that we actually saw as we walked through town.

I had arrived back from Australia just after midnight on Monday night and was at work as normal. I work on the 4th floor of a building in town, opposite the hospital. I hadn't had anything to eat yet and was in the process of making some lunch and I'd gone to the office of one of the girls when it hit. Dee and I were both standing and grabbed each other but were thrown apart, she hit the wall and I hit a glass panel the size of a door. Fortunately the glass didn't break. I hit my head and my knee quite hard but didn't really think about it at the time. I did know I had to get my phone and shoes (yes I had bare feet, this is not a time for a discussion on workplace fashion) before I got out of the building. I went to my office, the door was closed and I couldn't open it much because everything was on the floor but I got it open enough to find my phone and bag and shoes (but forgot my ipad!!). Everyone was doing the same, getting what they needed and heading out of the building.

Out on the street there were large cracks in the footpath but they were minor to what I would see as I got further into town. We were all absolutely in shock, many crying, all shaking, some bleeding from injuries. I got a text off to my immediate family and heard from my sister Deb first. She said she was ok but she asked me to find her 2 oldest kids (Chrissy and James). They both attend a school that is located in Cashel Mall. I told Dee I was going and ran up Oxford Tce. Traffic was at a stand still and when I got to beside the primary school (St Michaels I think) the 5.7 aftershock hit. It was so frightening. I just froze and waited for it to stop. All the kids were screaming in the school.

I headed to Cashel Mall as I didn't know which direction they would go to evacuate the school. Buildings were down the whole way, people were trying to rescue others, people were crying, bleeding, there was already a body on the footpath. I wanted to stop and help but was focused on getting to the kids. When I reached the other end of Cashel Mall I started stopping and asking kids if they were from Unlimited. None were but a man told me they'd been evacuated to Latimer Square.

I continued past the Hotel Grand Chancellor (which is currently looking like it will collapse, note the warping in middle at the top) and then up Cashel Street to where the CTV building had collapsed (I walked past where the people are gathered at the bottom of the picture.

It was unreal, just a small part of the building remained and there was a large fire and loads of people on the rubble trying to get others out. The street to Latimer Square had just been closed so I had to keep going up the road. I kept asking for Chrissy and James but no one knew. I went through a car yard and then back down Hereford to Latimer. There were hundreds of people there and some girls knew who Chrissy and James were but not where they were. I kept going through the crowd and turned around and there was Chrissy. It was so good to see her. A random lady was looking after her and we just held each other and cried. I told the lady who I was and that I'd take Chrissy, I thanked her and asked if we could do anything for her but she was fine.
We went to where Unlimited was meeting and kept looking for James. I managed to get a call through to him and he was at a business on the other side of the CBD by my work. A teacher was trying to organise the kids so I went to him and asked if I could take Chrissy. I gave him her name and said I'd been in touch with James and he was ok. He took their names and we left the park.

We tried to go up Worcester Street but were sent back due to gas leaks. We went along a block and managed to get through Gloucester Street. We stayed in the middle of the road as much as we could and I tried to keep Chrissy from looking around. We passed cars that were flattened, people in utes taking injured to hospital, collapsed buildings, we crossed massive cracks in the road and liquefaction and water, I don't think we'll remember it all but that's a good thing. I kept trying to text people, I needed to know that people were ok and for Deb and Dave to know I'd found the kids and they were ok.

Seeing the Cathedral practically destroyed was a pretty emotional point, it's such an icon of Christchurch.

We finally got to where James was, needless to say there were more hugs and tears but mostly shocked quiet words and comparing of stories and information. James had some friends with him and we all sat together and waited for David to arrive. We soon figured out that wasn't going to happen due to the traffic (and the van running out of petrol!). We decided that Chrissy, James and Jonty would come with me to find my car and try and get out and the other kids would go with the parent of 2 of them.

We walked past my work, making our way through more silt and water and cracks in the road
. Buildings had broken windows, cracks, some had been taped off already. At one point I got the kids to walk on the sidewalk not the road as there were wires coming out of the road that could have been power lines. When we were doing that there was another really large earthquake and we ran into the middle of the road and crouched by the cars.

We got to my carpark and I got the kids to wait on the road in the open, my car was ok but there was a chimney in the carpark next to it. I moved my car to out by the road and we discussed if we should walk or drive. We decided to try driving but only made it half a block in probably half an hour or more so decided to park and walk. At Moorhouse Ave Jonty's mum was in her car coming to find him.

Chrissy James and I continued walking. We got to Brougham and turned left to go to their place. It was definitely faster to walk than drive. A lady stopped us and got her to send a text to her daughter to tell her she was coming home. She had to walk to Aranui. We knew David was close but kept walking as we didn't know if he would get out of traffic before we got home. We finally met at the Ensors Road/Opawa Road roundabout. Getting the kids home was a relief. It wasn't the end of my getting home but it was such a relief to get the kids to their home. I had a look through their house which was a complete mess, gave Annie Rose a cuddle, lots of hugs and tears for everyone else. I took one of their bikes and biked home. No road was clear, traffic, liquefaction and just mounds in the road from damage.

I was exhausted when I got home. It was about 5 pm and I hadn't yet eaten all day. We'd walked for hours, we'd worried, we'd cried, we'd run to get away from aftershocks, we'd all seen dead people. I'm not sure I'd ever cried like that before.

But that's not even the end of the story. We've had dozens of aftershocks, 40 of them have been over 4.0, some over 5. We got power back at about 10 pm, still no water or sewage. We've cleaned up a bit of the back yard but not all of it. Odette has gone to Timaru, we are flying to Auckland tomorrow. I'm not sure if leaving is the best idea but we know we can't stay here with the aftershocks and no water etc.

A question we are all asking ourselves is where do we go from here? How does Christchurch recover from this? We've lost infrastructure, buildings, people. And more personally, how do we get through this. How do I face going back into my work building? How do we walk or drive around Christchurch and not think about it? How do we ever feel safe again? Will we need to go to funerals next week? I feel lost as I think a lot of people here do. Let's hope a few days break in Auckland will help get our heads around this.

Finally I feel like I'm doing something well

2011-01-25T14:04:00.002+13:00

As you probably know I'm doing the Couch to 5K running program. Last night I finished week 6. There were a couple of extra weeks in there where I was sick and it was Christmas and there's just no way I was running on my birthday as well so let's just say I've been running for 6 weeks cos I have.

So 6 weeks ago I started and it involved something like running 1 min then walking then running 1.5 mins and repeating that. And I found it hard. That's right...running for 90 seconds was hard. Part of it is that I'm unfit, part that I'm fat, part that I have something up with my heart but overall it was just bad. 90 seconds!

Last night I ran 25 mins without stopping. TWENTY FIVE MINUTES!! I've never done that long in my life. 3.68kms without a break or walking or anything. I am so stoked. I know it's nothing compared to other people but seriously, in 6 weeks I've gone from struggling with 90 seconds to running for 25 kms and not dying in the process.

At the end of the program I'll be running 30 mins which should be 5 km without breaks regularly.

Obviously I'm absolutely proud of myself and what I've done so far but there are other benefits too. Firstly my skin is way better than it was and secondly my heart doesn't get as sore. I had trouble yesterday biking home but I've found that if I breathe steadily and try and keep at a steady pace then it doesn't hurt or race too much. And by the time I've done the 5 min warm down it's definitely not racing any more. I did a test at the cardiologist last year and in 6 mins of running and walking my heart rate got to over 200 bpm so that's a huge improvement too.

Who would have thought that I'd actually enjoy running, I'd be able to do it, it would make my heart a bit better and improve my skin and if I'm lucky it might even help knock off some weight. Who knows!

Wedding Planning

2011-01-18T09:06:00.003+13:00

It's actually going really well. I had heard lots about stress and awful things but we're finding it pretty sweet. We have so far booked the venue (and the date of course) and the photography, I've designed and planned the Save the Date cards, we have the bridal party picked and we think we know who we'll get to do the catering and the general look and feel (decorations) of the wedding is planned as well. We still have just over 11 months to go!

Time to find a dress I think...

Love the message on the blackboard:

2011-01-05T21:34:00.000+13:00

What will 2011 hold??

2010-12-31T12:46:00.002+13:00

I did ok with my last years resolutions so here's my goals for 2011:

1. Keep running - complete couchto5k and Real Women's Duathlon (hopefully in less than 1 hour)

2. Read more books than last year (can I beat 40?)

3. Learn Maori - actually enjoy and complete the paper, not just find it and think about it

4. Pay off lots more debt

5. Plan and prepare for our wedding (!!!)

6. Do a photography course

7. Lose weight - sorry but it has to be done. I want to do it slowly and healthily so that I can maintain it once it's done. 20 kg would be ideal but 15kg would probably be just as good! I'm over 80kg right now and thinking about banning all reflective surfaces. Can't believe I'm writing this...but have to be brave and challenge myself!

8. Try something new

Pretty similar to my last years plans...let's see where I'm at this time next year! (I'll be 5 days from being Mrs Brown)

The end of 2010

2010-12-31T12:36:00.002+13:00

It's New Years Eve and tonight we're going to The Bedford to watch Tahu's band Merchants of Flow open for Salmonella Dub. It's such an exciting opportunity for them. Can't wait!

This morning I finished the 40th book I've read this year. Not bad! I had wanted to read more than I read last year which was 31 books and I've passed it by 9! Can I read over 40 books next year? Let's hope so!

In this post I wrote the resolutions I had for 2010 so I think it's time to review and see how I did.

1. Start running - yes I did this! I completed the Real Womens Duathlon and then later this year started the couch to 5 K and I'm currently up to week 4.

2. Learn Maori - we did try for a bit but not really what I'd call learning the language. I did however find a course I can do by correspondence so will be signing up for that in the new year.

3. Do a photography course - no but I'm keeping it on the list!

4. Play soccer - my soccer buddy moved to Auckland so no I didn't do this. I did go to a few games though...does that count?

5. Pay off lots of debt - this we did do! Not all of it of course but we now own both our cars, all our house stuff pretty much and have managed to fit in 2 trips as well.

6. Read more than 31 books - Yes I did! 40 books as of this morning.

So that's 3 yes's, 1 sort of and 1 no. Not bad! Actually it's good because I may not have done all I planned but I did take up other things. I started 2 new hobbies, baking and chocolate making. Maybe not super cool but everyone who eats it likes it so can't be that bad!

Other things from 2010...got sick again, that wasn't fun. Had problems with my heart but think we're getting by with that. Got engaged (my favourite part!). Did well at my work, met new nephew Joshua, found an amazing house. Got rid of a couple of friends that just weren't improving me (painful but so much better now). Started planning our wedding. Went to Ausy and to the North Island. It's been a busy year!

Awwww!

2010-12-24T10:22:00.002+13:00

Look ---->

A countdown to our wedding...am I excited? Oh yes I am. I won't get all soppy on it but I do love being with Tahu and how it's fun and easy and we go really well together and I don't feel like I've given up anything to be with him.

Also it's Christmas Eve...check out this video and seriously how can you not be cracking up watching it?

Happiness is....

2010-12-06T19:36:00.003+13:00

Do we look happy?

What about in this one?

Is this two very happy people?

This might explain why we look so happy:

Friday 5th November 2012
Huka Falls

Kiwi Cakes: Silicone chocolate moulds at great prices

2010-11-27T23:33:00.000+13:00

Seriously I want this so bad!! How amazing is the fashion mould?? I might actually cry if these sell out before I get one.

Kiwi Cakes: Silicone chocolate moulds at great prices: "It's not often I can source silicone chocolate moulds at great prices, so I was thrilled to find these 2 Silikomart moulds from Italy. Dino..."

Plan of Attack

2010-11-16T15:29:00.002+13:00

As 278 suggested there was more to my holiday then just reading and relaxing...Tahu and I got engaged! It was lovely and perfect and he is by far the best thing ever and we can't wait to be married. I have so much more to say on it but my mind is on other things right this minute so that can wait for another post tonight.

Running. That's what I'm thinking about. There is 19 weeks til the Real Womens Duathlon that you may remember my family doing earlier this year. I completed in just over an hour and so this time I want to do it in less than an hour. And I think 19 weeks is plenty to train for. So here's the plan:

Starting tomorrow I will do Couch to 5K. This is a training program to get you from nothing to running 5km in 9 weeks. That will get me to 10 weeks til the duathlon and they have a training program that takes that long to get ready for it. They have 3 actually. Walk, Jog or Run. I will run this time.

Plan:
Weeks 19-10 I will do Couch to 5Km
Weeks 10-0 I will do their Run/Bike/Run training program.

Outcomes:
I will be fit
I will lose weight
I will achieve something
I will be back into exercising
I will have ACCOMPLISHED something

I really want to do it. I hope I can. I'm starting off super quietly so surely I can build up to it (typing with my fingers crossed here).

Keep an eye out for updates at the end of each week or so.

A slight book addiction...

2010-10-29T13:35:00.001+13:00

Yes I've now passed the amount of books I read last year!

Total for 2009 = 31
Total so far for 2010 = 32 (and it's only October! Still 2 months to go!)

On holiday next week. I wonder how many I can put away in that time....

Canterbury Earthquake - September 4th 2010

2010-10-14T20:04:00.000+13:00

It's several weeks since the earthquake and I've been trying to think what to write and what I want to say and remember and what I feel but I guess the best place to start is what actually happened for us.

Tahu had a gig on the Friday night and so he got home at 3am. We hadn't been asleep long when I remember waking up and everything was moving and I didn't even wonder what was happening because a second later it got a whole lot worse and it felt like Tahu and I moved in slow motion sitting up and trying to get off the bed and to the doorway. Something fell by my bed and smashed and I fell back on the bed and somehow we made it to the doorway and it slowed down. We got the door open and called out to Nat and she had Madi and was in their doorway too. All we could hear was car alarms and we went to the landing window to see if we could see anything next door cos Odette was home alone. I remember shaking so hard and the house just seemed like it was still moving and just going what is going on! I only had my pj top on and I knew I needed more clothes and my phone and of course the power was out and so I went back to beside the bed and started patting around on the floor to find my pants and all I found was broken glass. I tried to find the torch too which was also on the floor but no luck so got my phone and used it as light to find the torch. I was shaking so much in the end I gave up and went to the wardrobe for my trackpants. I don't know why I wanted them but I didn't want jeans! I rang Odette and left a message that we were coming over and grabbed a quilt and we all went downstairs and next door. I think we knocked but didn't get an answer so I went to the lockbox and Tahu had to help me get it open but there wasn't a key. We went and knocked again and Odette came down and we all went back to ours. She grabbed her ipod so we could have radio and so for the next couple of hours we sat in the lounge and called and texted and talked until it got lighter. I couldn't get through nz cells so I called Lilly and Jem and left messages to tell them what had happened. Lillys must have been scary to hear because while I was talking another big one came and I had to hang up as we ran for the doorway.

Deb texted pretty quickly and I thought she was in Hanmer with everyone else but soon realised she wasn't. I texted and called Uncle and Aunty and heard from them in the end too which was good.

Daylight finally came and Odette went back to hers and Nat and Madi went to Nats mums because they had power. Tahu went to sleep on the couch and I drove to mum and dads to see their place and to check on their neighbour who lives alone. Their house was a mess, draws open, everything off the window sills, I remember looking in their bedroom window and seeing the tv antenna on the bed and wondering why they'd put that there and then realising it was because the tv had fallen off the dresser and the antenna had landed on the bed.

Their front neighbours had lost their chimney and I stopped and talked to them for a wee bit then went and found Rob next door. He was ok but nervous and had lost his chimney too. He'd seen both the cats though which was good. I got my keys and went back to mum and dads and took a video so they'd see what it was like. We still hadn't heard from them and I had decided they had one more hour and then I'd just have to drive to them because 5 hours after this terrible earthquake was quite enough time to get hold of us. At that point deb called and said she'd had a text from Chrissy and then Dad called and it was such a relief. All we'd known was that they weren't contacting us and that the quake was centred near Christchurch, possibly in that direction.

I don't remember much else from that day. We went to mum and dads at lunch time when they got back from Hanmer and was good to see them and Reuben and tell them what had happened. We watched a lot of TV once we got our power back. Two channels had non stop coverage and actually it was good to see the magnitude of it and what was happening in town. It wasn't till several hours later we realised we'd been watching the same pictures all day and actually it wasn't for over a week that I realised it really was devastating for Christchurch.

Saturday night we brought the spare room mattress downstairs (which reminds me I really must remake that bed) and slept in the lounge which meant we actually got some sleep and only felt a few of the aftershocks. The next night though we slept upstairs, I didn't want to but I knew I couldn't keep putting it off.

It felt awful going up to our room, it took me hours to get around to cleaning up the smashed vase. Firstly cos we had no power to vacuum it! It was in my drawers and through my clothes that were on the floor and it had shattered so I'm still finding glass! It wasn't that we'd lost it, it was that it added to that awful memory with darkness and the house rocking and the smashing sound and not knowing when it would end.

A pretty emotional moment was when we got power back and I looked up the Haiti earthquake which was 9 months earlier and had killed 230,000 people and we realised that our earthquake had been stronger and even closer to the surface. Not a single person was killed, only two people were seriously injured and they are both out of hospital and within two weeks of the quake. I know there's timing and building structure and all of that but it was overwhelming to realise what a miracle we'd all just gone through.

We spent a lot of Saturday having conversations that started with "Imagine if...". Imagine if it was two hours earlier, Tahu was playing a gig where buildings were badly damaged and his car was parked where another one is now flattened. Imagine if we'd decided to go to Hanmer for Friday instead of Saturday, Odette and Nat would have both been home alone. Imagine if the quake had hit during a work day. There were so many things that could have made this worse for us.

Monday we went to work but came home early. Tuesday was work and I spent the day replying to emails from clients who had got our update newsletter saying we were ok. Town was strange, I went for a drive and took photos because some of the buildings are being demolished. It was so strange seeing broken buildings, police, army, blocked access. Things that don't happen in Christchurch.

The next morning Tahu went to work and I had just got out of the shower when the next major aftershock hit. I couldn't even get to the door again, I just had to hold on to the cabinet in the bathroom. I went onto the landing and Nat was there with Madi and I realised I was just in a towel and then I realised Nat and I were both dressed the same! She'd just got out of the shower too! We have to be careful how we tell that story though cos it doesn't sound right when we say we'd just got out of the shower!

Our power was out again and texts starting coming, making sure everyone was ok. I have to say, it would have been so different without texting!

Wednesday through Friday our building was closed so was a nice long weekend. Most of it was spent in bed just watching movies or reading. Mostly because I just needed a break.

For days after that Saturday we all felt like we were permanently shaking. We didn't notice half the aftershocks because we felt like there was always an earthquake.

I can't get my head around how things have changed. It is so surreal! Buildings are gone, we are all suddenly experts and know things about depth, magnitude and epicentres, about liquefaction, silt, fault lines. Nobody asks how you are, they ask how your house is. We are suddenly in our own special group. We can't explain it to someone who wasn't there. There's no way to explain it. I saw a video on Youtube last night of footage from the Chile earthquake and it was so different to when I'd heard about it previously. Now I know what they felt, how it felt, how awful it is.

Our nerves are gone, any shake or movement and we freeze. But it's not just that, it's the sound. Any rumble or unusual sound and I wait for the earthquake. We can hear the quakes before we feel them. And realising how close we are. The other night there was one only about 10km from my house. No wonder we feel them!! And that the epicentres are constantly moving. It's not just one spot in darfield. It's all over Canterbury that we're getting them.

Tonight there was one and from the sound and the feeling of it I guessed it would be in Halswell but it was actually in Tai Tapu. I was one suburb over! How ridiculous that I can now guess the epicentre of an earthquake. And it's just so close to our home. The sound is so intense, that's one of the things that sucks, you hear it coming and you don't know how bad it is going to be.

Mum and Dad have adopted a cat and they had to take him to the vet today cos he is just not coping. He's been put on sedatives. He was crawling around the house on his belly. Poor wee man! I don't blame him. Yesterday we had a 5 which was the 10th biggest we'd had and I was in training with clients in Australia. We are 3 floors up and it was awful. I don't know how I managed to finish the session!

I don't know when this will end. Nobody does actually. We've had 1876 earthquakes in just under 6 weeks. We haven't felt them all but we've definitely felt a fair few of them! Some time I'll post the pictures I took.

I guess one thing that bothers me is that I just can't get my head around it. Life is different now. There's no going back to feeling like you can get through life without something bad happening. I wondered if I could do that but now we're living through a really serious natural disaster. It's hard to explain. I'll be glad when it quietens down for sure!

This time last year...

2010-10-08T09:03:00.002+13:00

A lot has happened since I last blogged, mainly a massive earthquake and I have written up a post about it but want to go over it again before I post and add some pictures etc.

So today is a quick message to say this time last year we were in Nepal. How strange to think that it's a year already! But how great it is to be a year on and to be glad with where I'm at. And I'm still with Tahu. Last year I hoped, this year I know. It's great.

And because it's Friday and I'm not super happy, just tired and need a break, I'm posting a couple of pictures that will hopefully make me feel better (but sadly I didn't take).

Confidence

2010-08-13T13:34:00.002+12:00

At the beginning of the year Tahu and I and our friend Nat and her wee girl moved house. We now live in this amazing house that we love. It's big and warm and clean and we have so much space. Part of what I love is that we have a spare room so people can come stay when they want. We had my friend Jamie stay for a few days when she was moving back to the Gold Coast (where I had met her a few years back) and I made a commitment to have my niece and nephews over for the night. So far we've had James and Reuben stay and tonight it's Chrissys turn. Each time we do something special for tea (whether it's something I cook or we get takeout) and we go do something I know they'll enjoy. James and I went to the movies, Reuben just wanted to play xbox and then do some baking the next day. Tonight Chrissy and I are going to the movies to see a 3d movie and then tomorrow I'm planning more baking although still waiting to hear if she's keen on that.

So it all sounds fun and it always works so well and I hope they know we love them to bits by doing this. But there's a catch....I'm so nervous every time that they won't have fun! That they'll go home and only remember it being boring or something. What if baking and movies is a bit young for Chrissy? What if James would rather hang out with his friends then his Aunty? I just don't know.

And recently James has told me a couple of times that I'm one of the best aunties in the world (he only has 3 so I'm at least top 3 surely!). And I was so stoked cos I didn't expect that from Mr 14 and it meant heaps to me but then I realised...what if he's just joking? What if he's just making fun of me? Just pulling my leg? I'm not thinking that cos I think that little of him, just because he's 14 and it's a long time since I've been that age but I can remember what the boys are like! And I hate myself for thinking this because if he really means what he's saying then he is going to be such an amazing man one day that I will be even more proud then I am now that he's my nephew.

It's about me and my lack of confidence in what people think of me. I remember very clearly one day at intermediate when the "cool" girls called me over and made everyone else go away and I was so excited cos I thought they wanted to be friends with me but instead they told me they were sick of hearing about my family and that I talked about them too much and please could I stop. Bare in mind I'm 12 and I've got a new niece and nephew who I'm so stoked with and not a lot else going on so of course I talk about them. I remember the feeling that it wasn't that they liked me at all and I had been completely wrong. And I don't know if that was the beginning of it or if that is just a major one I remember but now I just don't trust that people like me and it amazes me when people like me when they meet me without me having to prove myself to them. And usually I've kept this away from my familiy cos they're family so they love me but now these kids are become adults and can think for themselves and now I start wondering.

And yes I know I've overthought this but that's what I do.

Challenge: Say what you think!

2010-07-06T14:38:00.003+12:00

There's something I've been doing recently, and I don't know if it's good or not but I know if I had it done to me I'd appreciate it. How many times a week do you see something about someone or something they've done and think it's great but not tell them? Well I've been telling people instead of just thinking it. Here's 2 examples:

1. A girl I went to school with, we don't know each other except by name. I found her blog and through reading it discovered 2 things, firstly that she had an incredible artistic talent, secondly that her and her husband have 1 little girl but have actually lost 2 more including a boy who was born this year full term still born. I was overwhelmed by what she had gone through and how strong she was, adding to that that she is younger than me! So I emailed her and told her. And we talked for a bit and it made me feel good but was great for her too.

2. The mum of some friends of mine is dying. She has cancer and she wasn't expected to live past Christmas. She is doing amazing but it finding it so hard and wrote a really sad post on her blog. So I emailed her and told her how inspiring she was to me and how I would feel if it was my mum going through what she is. I haven't heard anything back yet.

But it's made me think. Why am I doing this? Why am I emailing these people? They don't know me! They have no reason to care about what I'm saying. But how often do we hear of people dying and then someone saying I wish I'd had a chance to tell them how they'd impacted me. And I don't want to have to say that. I want these people to know that they are more than just ordinary.

So here's my challenge. Tell people when what they do makes you feel something positive (this is a purely positive challenge please!). It doesn't matter if they don't know you or if they'll never have a chance to tell you how it made them feel. Just tell them cos you might be just what they need. Do it!

2 birds with one stone

2010-06-08T12:21:00.004+12:00

Bird 1:

On Saturday Tahu was at soccer and it was a cold day so I stayed home and made cookies. We were going to a couple of homes where there would be kids and I wanted to take something so I opened up a book and the first thing I saw inspired me and here is the result:

Bird 2:

Recently I started a photo project. It's where you set yourself a challenge and mine was to do A-Z in June. It is up to me how I interpret that and so for now I'm doing things representing the letters. It's cool cos I have to go and think about the photos, take them, edit them and then somehow I'll present them at the end. Maybe a giant poster or something. I had orginally said that I could take inspiration from others ideas but so far they have all been my own which is cool. The photos above are C for Cookies. I'll put the rest up when I've finished it.

Also the cookie recipe I used is my grandmothers (Mum's mum) recipe. I never met her but I like to think that this is one way that we are connected by this. It's a fantastic recipe and really easy and has nothing special in it so I can make it any time by what is in my cupboard. Thanks Grandma xx

The Oil spill in perspective

2010-05-31T14:34:00.003+12:00

So I know the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is bad but I'm not good with understanding gallons and distance and all that but I found a map that allows you to put it anywhere in the world to see what it's like and here's if the spill happened over Christchurch:

Now that's crazy. It would take probably a couple of hours to DRIVE from one end to the other. At least! Imagine the damage it would do!

Reasons to be happy

2010-05-21T15:10:00.002+12:00

So the last few weeks have been a bit rough. Not super bad, just grey. Hard to be excited about life with things going wrong and stuff and I hate this feeling and so I'm going to do something I never do which is try and think of all the reasons I should be happy and see if that can help.

In no particular order:

Tahu
My family, every single one of them.
I have a job that pays me well
I have travelled to amazing places that many will never get to see
We now have 2 cars that work beautifully
I walked to work this morning. I'm able to do that and it's good for me.
I am awesome at baking and cooking and I am in a situation where I can share with others this thing I love so much.
We can pay our bills this week AND go to the movies on a date tonight.
I get to see Ironman 2 tonight. Now seeing the movie isn't the good part, it's that I get to spend a Friday night with Tahu, no pressure, no worries. And he will be happy seeing the movie.
I have an awesome cat who loves me even though he doesn't live with me. Rokocoko comes home almost every time I am at mum and dads.
I completed the Duathlon earlier in the year in much less time then I had thought I'd have to take.
I don't wear makeup every day.
I live in the most beautiful country in the world. And that's not an exaggeration or biased.
I learn something new every day. Today it is that exaggeration has 2 g's. Who knew!
I do not live in a black and white world even though others may.
Writing this list is already making me feel better.
I have read 19 books this year already.
Today is Friday.

Anyone want to add to my list or tell me what's on theirs?

I love my Ipod Touch

2010-05-04T11:32:00.004+12:00

So recently I bought myself an Ipod Touch and it's so amazing and I HIGHLY recommend them. One of the things I've done is download a couple of applications that edits photos so here's some results. No new photos, just playing with my favourites. I really love the colours in the polaroids.

Amazing Quote

2010-04-14T12:10:00.002+12:00

We had an annual meeting yesterday for my firm and it was to go over all the things we had planned for last year and to see if we'd achieved them and to also go through the goals and things coming up for our next year. It was actually really cool and we all left feeling REALLY excited about being a part of our company and what things we have planned. One thing that was amazing was that our firm is about 6 years old, for the first 2 years we made combined losses of over $1million. This last financial year our revenue was over $5million. I can't remember the profit amount but it was in the millions. How amazing is that? In a massive recession we had a 25% increase in profit from the previous financial year. I think it's safe to say we're doing really well.

At the end, one of the board members, David Brown, stood up and did a bit of a summary ending and part of it was that he read a quote that was made about 160 years ago. He said it applied so well to the economy and our firm but I think it's bigger then that.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way"

- Charles Dickens (1812-1870) -

I really love that quote. It made me think of a few things, including, how Charles Dickens, 160 years ago, thought their time was just a terrible age, and now we are thinking that the things happening in our age are terrible and life back then must have been pretty simple.

Also that you can have 2 people looking at the exact same thing and they see different things depending on their attitudes. Some see it as great, others see it as "the winter of despair".

Lastly, that a man born almost 200 years ago can be still so relevant to our thinking right now.

So what I'm taking from it is to think about how I look at things. Is what I'm seeing actually bad or is it just my attitude? For example, I hate how I look, I'm fat and pale and just not nice. But I am loved. By a lot of people. So when I look at me I should see a person who is good and loved, not a whale with legs.

And instead of seeing how evil and cruel the world is to each other I should look and see the people who help when you need it the most. Like the people passing when my flatmate had a car accident that came and helped her and waited with her.

And so tell me reader(s)....what are the good things in our world? Ignoring all the bad and painful things...what is good in our world, your life and your day?

Can you believe it??

2010-04-06T21:56:00.001+12:00

Can you believe that this little one....

...is now this little one....

...and she's turning one!!

Yes that's right.

Happy Birthday Annie Rose for tomorrow!

Various pics from my phone

2010-04-06T21:42:00.003+12:00

Every now and then I see something pretty cool but don't have my big flash camera with me and so I have to take a pxt on my phone so here's a few for your viewing pleasure:

Rabbit Island near Nelson:

Beautiful blossom near Coalgate:

A random article in a paper I found when on a train home when I was in Brisbane:

A sign on the bus to the airport in Beijing, China:

I still don't get it!!

In Cambodia...do I sit or not???:

Same place in Cambodia. A for apple, B for baby...so far so good...wait....K for....???

(It's K for kitten by the way but that's not what I first thought either!)

Again in Cambodia, in a restaurant...we ordered it but it didn't come with a Cambodian!

On my flight from Christchurch to Melbourne. Amazing!

Sleepover at Aunty and Uncles

2010-04-06T21:03:00.003+12:00

For Reubens birthday present we had him over to be the first person to stay in the spare room at our new house.

First we played some xbox

Then we had fish and chips (as requested)

After a nice shower we were stoked to find Uncle Tahu was home

So we had some quiet time with him before bed

The next morning we baked a really yummy chocolate cake (again as requested)

All in all it was a good present me thinks, even if he did ask the next morning when he was getting his gift!!

Pheonix Match with Deb and Ruby

2010-04-06T20:54:00.003+12:00

While Tahu and Dad had corporate box tickets, Deb, Reuben and I slummed it in the new Deans Stand at AMI stadium and had a blast! Note how we're all in yellow?? Yes we're true supporters :)

Work trip to Nelson

2010-04-06T20:45:00.003+12:00

At the beginning of March my work sent me up to Nelson and Motueka for 2 nights. On the way to catch my flight home I stopped to take some pictures of the beautiful view and of course the beautiful car I was driving! 2010 Holden Cruze, so amazing to drive, since then it's been recalled by Holden! Never mind, I had fun!

Trip to Melbourne

2010-04-06T20:38:00.003+12:00

Tahu and I went to Melbourne for 4 nights recently to visit my big brother Jem, his wonderful partner Eva and of course a few of our good friends. While we were there Jem and Tahu did a bit of recording and here's some of my favourite pictures from it.

Oh and we made a stop at Ikea and somebody was tired and took a quick nap in one of the showrooms:

Time for a catchup

2010-04-06T20:29:00.002+12:00

It's been a while since I put up some photos that I took and so it's time to have a catch up. First off, the wee girl I live with. She's just turned 10 months and is just so cute:

Real Womens Duathlon

2010-03-29T16:16:00.002+13:00

I really love this photo. It's 3 generations of my family. My sister Deb, my niece Chrissy, my other sister Shaz, my mum Elizabeth and me just after completing a 3.5km run (or walk for some of us), 10km bike and another 1.5km run/walk. It was a first time for all of us and I had hoped to do it in an hour and a half at best. And I did it in 1 hour, 14 minutes and 26 seconds!! Am very very pleased with myself. Actually I think we all beat the times we were aiming at which is just amazing! Who knew we had it in us.

I'm planning at this stage to do it again next year and try and do it in under an hour but it's a long way off so no promises!

ps did I mention I got the fastest of us all too?? Yes I beat the youthful (16 year old) Chrissy! Ok it was by 10 seconds by I'm stoked!! Must be still something good in me after all my self loathing!!

Kiwi Cakes

2010-03-26T10:34:00.001+13:00

I found this site last night that sells awesome tins and cookie cutters etc. If anyone feels like it I'd love a voucher from this site!! Such cool stuff and it's NZ too so things like NZ shaped and pukeko cookie cutters. Love it!

Great post on depression

2010-03-23T12:28:00.002+13:00

Found this post on a blog on the Stuff website. Not sure why I think it's so good. Have a read. Definitely identify with her and it's so good seeing "celebrities" or people in the media speaking about it in such a recognisable way.

I have new shoes!

2010-03-17T09:02:00.001+13:00

Beautiful running shoes. I got shin splints running in my last ones so new shoes it is!

Self Portrait

2010-03-11T19:43:00.003+13:00

It appears my sisters are doing something about self portraits and so I will join in the trend with mine. This is me:

I'm home sick. I've had a headache for almost 2 weeks now. Have worked through most of it but today was just too much so I am at home in our beautiful bed just sleeping and reading and eating chocolate. My wonderful flatmate even went and got me fish and chips for tea so no need to cook for us.

And before my millions of readers start suggesting things like drinking water, sleeping, taking this medication and that...trust me...after 2 weeks of this I have tried it all!!

Also, just a suggestion, don't google image search headaches! Seriously the second image you see is just awful! That's not a headache! That's a serious face injury!

How much can you fit into one day?

2010-01-26T09:00:00.002+13:00

Here is my day yesterday:

Woke up (Handy!) then showered then folded the washing. After that I walked to work, worked usual 8 hours. After work I went to the mall - got groceries and other bits and bobs. Went home then went for run. Showered (again), had tea (which Tahu had kindly cooked for me). Then I sorted papers from kitchen drawer and drawer in my bedroom (over a years worth of bills and random bits of paper in both), put the washing away, sorted the bookshelves so they no longer have clothes on them, just books, tidied our room, put a load of washing on, went to bed, finished a book, started another one, went to sleep. All by 10.30pm.

And yes I know other people have lots they do in a day too but it felt like a pretty full on day to me!

Weekend with the Greens

2010-01-21T18:44:00.002+13:00

When we were in Nepal we joined a tour and travelled from Kathmandu through to Lhasa in Tibet over about 6 days. We hung out with a couple for the whole time who were just amazing. We really loved hanging out with them and then last weekend they came and stayed with us while they were visiting NZ. It was really nice having them here and was very sad saying goodbye. Here's a couple of photos from when they were here:

The Wicked Van that they had hired to go around the South Island

The Good and The Bad

2010-01-19T12:50:00.002+13:00

It is amazing how your home can be such a haven and wonderful place but so unpleasant at the same time.

After our 2 months to Asia my gorgeous partner Tahu moved in with me as he had been living in Australia previously. Every day it is so nice to know that I can see him even if it's just for a moment. I have started having such late nights cos it's so nice just being able to talk to him in person and as he is working nightshift this week he gets home at my bed time!

Also we have an 8 month old baby in our house (her mum is one of our flatmates) and I have to say there is not much better then getting up in the morning and when she sees you she gets this massive grin. She makes me feel so loved! She is beautiful and funny and it has been so exciting the last few weeks being able to see her crawl for the first time and how alert and aware she is getting.

But then also at home, almost every night, there is big confrontations with my other flatmate and her boyfriend. And it's exhausting me. Do you know how hard it is to hear every day that you are the cause of all the problems? That despite everyone else that you've ever met thinking that you were friendly that they're actually all wrong and you are a mean and rude and cruel and awful person. I try so hard to keep telling myself that this is one man who is saying this and that my wonderful friends and family who know me know that I am a good person but when every day you hear this negative stuff about you it really breaks you down. I am so angry about the whole situation and how it has turned out and how ridiculous it is.

And it is hard. It is hard to have someone who was one of your best mates just completely change and sadly this is not the first time I have had this happen. I am pained by girls who do this. When they are single they are strong and beautiful and loving and hopeful people despite the fact there is no man to love them (even though some days it's so hard being lonely) and then the minute they get a boyfriend they become weak and submissive and forget who their friends are. And I am not talking about how they spend time with the guy cos I completely understand that! It disappoints me when people lose themselves because of a relationship.

And I am not claiming to be perfect here! I know I have done it in the past but myself and another close friend who got together with her now fiance just before Tahu and I have both made a conscious effort to NOT lose ourselves and our friends. If these guys are the ones for us and I do think Tahu is then I want him to keep encouraging me to be me!! Not some perfect girl that I think a girlfriend should be.

So I love going home to Tahu and having Nat and baby Madi there to cheer me up when it's been a long day but for now (and it's only for another week) it hurts me to go home too because I know there will be more dramas.

Last night I was almost expecting them to bring up the recession and say that I caused it or perhaps some natural disaster was my responsibility as well! Oh such fun :)

New Years in Kaikoura

2010-01-11T09:02:00.004+13:00

We went to Kaikoura for New Years, lots of lying around, eating good food, jigsaws, fishing, fresh crayfish and sunshine. All that stuff you really want for a Christmas break!

Tahu and Kate the dog

A pod of Killer Whales! So exciting to see. Especially the wee baby ones including this wee one diving into the water beside it's mum.

Ohau Waterfall

Pictures from Christmas Day

2010-01-11T08:58:00.002+13:00

Just a couple of nice pics from Christmas Day.

It's a Brand New Year

2010-01-05T09:52:00.003+13:00

So just a quick close off of the list of books I read in 2009. The grand total is 31!! Yes me thinks I did quite well there. That's about 1.5 weeks for each book which isn't actually right but better then nothing I think! Wonder how many I can do this year?

New Years Resolutions/Plans:

1. Start running again - Might lose some weight but will just be healthier
2. Learn Maori - Tahu is Maori and we want to speak it to our kids so that they are bilingual
3. Do a photography course
4. Play soccer
5. Pay off lots of debt!
6. Read more than 31 books!

Think that's enough! Wonder if I can do them. Lets hope so!

Love Analogy

2009-12-21T12:40:00.006+13:00

I was talking to Tahu on Saturday night and came up with an analogy for what I feel for him that I think explains it pretty perfectly and I liked it so much I thought I'd post it.

Finding and being with him is like completing a rubix cube. You try for ages, trying different things, trying different ways, some look like they'll work but they don't and then finally it all clicks into place and it's just how it's meant to be.

My gorgeous man

2009-11-23T15:54:00.003+13:00

How flash does he look in this suit? It's one we got made for him in Thailand.

And these are some beautiful flowers that got delivered to me at work on Friday. Just cos he wanted to tell me he loved me. Awwww!

A couple of other favourites

2009-11-23T15:51:00.003+13:00

These are some pictures I took from our trip through Tibet. Just love the sharp blue sky!

This is my gorgeous Lulu. I miss her heaps, if only she could have come home with me!

Panoramas from our trip

2009-11-23T15:41:00.003+13:00

This is Nepal:

This is Kathmandu, Nepal:

This is the Great Wall of China (see going from the right over the top of the mountain?):

This is Kharola Glacier in Tibet:

This is the Bridge Over The River Kwai in Thailand:

And this is my favourite of all...Tibet. Isn't it beautiful?:

If you click on the pictures they can be viewed a lot bigger I believe.

One last update from Asia

2009-10-28T18:37:00.001+13:00

So in a few hours we will be catching another flight but this time it is to Melbourne, Australia and we're really looking forward to it. We have had the most amazing time on this trip. It's been hard in places and we are both so tired and saw and looking forward to lots of things but when we look back it has absolutely been a trip of a lifetime. We've seen incredible things, done fun things, been through places we never thought we'd go. We would recommend this kind of flying visit trip to anyone who wants to travel as you get to know the places you want to go spend time in and if you're not a fan of a place then you are only there for a while. For example we are keen to come back to Japan (this time with loads of money to buy the so cheap electronics) and Nepal to do some trekking maybe but then India and Tibet we are so happy to have seen and experienced but pretty sure we don't want to go back there a second time. We also have found that just cos you wouldn't go back to a place doesn't mean you didn't like it, just that it's not somewhere we want to explore further. Hope that makes sense!

Ok funny story of how the language barrier can go badly wrong...when we first got to Japan we wanted to look at DVDs and we saw a sign that said a whole lot in Japanese and then DVD in english. We were like sweet lets go there. We go up to the 7th floor where it is and walk in and just seen cartoons really and then the guy comes running up to us and goes Only Men!!! Then we look again and realise we've gone into an adult movie place!! AWKWARD!! Later on we nearly did it again too but after that just didn't bother going in unless we could see more then just DVD on the sign!

We've also found some things out about travelling that people didn't tell us. Firstly take a small laptop with you if possible. Nearly everywhere has free wireless internet and that would make emailing so much easier. Beijing has no internet cafes that we could find and Japan is similar. Also take cash with you for each country and when you leave change it at the border. For example we have Nepalese Rupee which we can't change anywhere and we would really like to!! Next would be to take a phrase book with you for each country if possible. Nothing big, just a little one to say basic stuff like Train and Toilet. Also always have toilet paper and pen and paper with you. They will come in useful!! Think that's the main ones. Everything else is fairly obvious!! Oh when packing it's not about fitting everything into a bag because if you do that bag will be really heavy! Try having one big backpack and a few smaller bags for the heavy stuff. That will make it easier. And the final and most important one: do all your shopping last, not first like we did. You run out of money and you have to carry it everywhere with you afterwards!!!

Now we looked forward to this trip so much but there a few things we are really looking forward to when we come home.

1. Not having to pack every few days will be a big one

2. Having clean clothes

3. Being able to cook your own food

4. When you eat not having to wonder what you are actually eating, if it will be nice and whether it will make you sick

5. Having fresh bread that isn't sweet!

6. Seeing familiar faces

7. Being able to speak/read english!!

8. Driving - not walking/training/busing/flying everywhere

9. Not having everyone staring at you like you're from out of space

10. English speaking TV!!

11. Actually getting what you ask for

12. Being able to watch a movie if you feel like it

This list goes on but we won't bore you. We have hundreds of photos too. I will put up the better of them in a small format but if you want to see our pics let me know and we can sort out a better way of doing it. If you are on Facebook you'll see it anyways.

Tibet, China and now in Japan!!

2009-10-25T19:09:00.000+13:00

I know it's been over 2 weeks since my last email but we have been in China and Tibet for that time and were advised that our emails would be monitored so felt it was easier to just wait til Japan rather then trying to be careful what we write! Also all blogs, facebook and anything sensitive were blocked. For example after we had been to Tiananmen Square in Beijing we wanted to look up about the 1989 Massacre as there was no mention of it there. We looked up wikipedia and got the page and then one second later it was blocked. So we looked up a youtube video on it and again it was blocked. So strick!

To start off with we spent 5 days driving from Kathmandu to Lhasa in Tibet. The first day was awful. We drove to the border but had to walk up hill a long way with all our gear cos there had been a landslide and then cross the border which took 2-3 hours then wait for the whole group to go through. We went through on the 10th of October which was the first day since the 21st of September or something that the border had been open as they had closed it for their 60th anniversary celebrations. It's 60 years of communisim in China. We got into jeeps about 4 pm but didn't get further then a km til 10.30pm as they closed the road. Apparently they do that quite often for no reason really. So by then it was dark and so foggy and the drivers didn't go slowly and every now and then the barriers would be broken where someone had gone off the road. Was really scary to be honest and we were so relieved to get to the guest house where we were staying. The rest of the trip was not nearly as bad, paved roads most of the ways even! We travelled with another couple called Alex and Gareth from Wales. It was so nice to hang out with them and we're looking forward to them coming to stay with us at Christmas in Christchurch. Well that's the plan anyways. We often caught our driver falling asleep so we spent most of the trip singing very loudly to the Ipod to try and keep him entertained. Hard when we speak different languages! Played a bit of Ipod kareoke too which was so fun. One person has the Ipod and sings along and we all have to guess what the song is. Oh the fun! I have videos to prove it.

So Tibet is very high. Even Kathmandu was high. For about a week we were higher then the highest point in NZ which is Mt Cook. So there was quite a bit of altitude sickness which took the shine off it. Constant headaches and aching bones, nausia, no appetite, short of breath. Makes it hard but was worth seeing. Tibet is very barren. Hardly any green but some beautiful views. Including Mt Everest! Yes we have now seen it. It's so amazing to know you're looking at the highest point in the whole world. We saw quite a few monastrys although Tahu and I started bunking those after the first couple. They tend to all look the same but will millions of stairs! One place we saw in Lhasa was Potala Palace which is the home of the Dalai Lama. Well meant to be. Was really amazing. Until the 5th Dalai Lama it was just the political palace and then someone made the Dalai Lama the Spiritual and the Political leader of Tibet and we saw the very room where that happened. We were amazed at the amount of gold in that palace. The Dalai Lamas from 5 up are buried there and the 5th Dalai Lamas tomb has over 3 TON of gold on it alone. We also saw the tomb for the 11th Dalai Lama which is the current one and that raised a few questions but of course we are not allowed to ask them. Several in our group including Gareth got told off for asking about that kinda stuff. Bit like Harry Potter and He How Can Not Be Named!!

One thing that struck us was that 60 years ago China decided that Tibet was theirs but as much as they have tried to make that happen we still consider it a different country. We called it the least successful invasion ever. And also we weren't sure why they would want Tibet! There really isn't a whole lot there!!

After Tibet we left the tour and caught a train to Xian. We saw the Terracotta Warriors there which was so amazing. So old!! Also by the way the train was awesome. So flash! Made the 36 hour trip a lot easier! Also we found McDonalds there which was just what we needed! We may have had it a few too many times since then! Just so good to know what you're eating!!

After that we caught another train to Beijing which was another overnight trip. We didn't do much the first day, just stayed at the hostel and read and relaxed a bit. Then we went on the big mission which was to go to the Great Wall of China!! It can be seen from space but took an awful long time for us to see it!! We made it though and for only about $30NZ each which is way cheaper then the tours that we were offered. We went to Mutianyu and it was so beautiful. You catch a gondola up to the wall and we walked around and then tobboganed down which was just like a Luge at Queenstown. I was petrified but was actually really fun. Was incredible to stand on the only man made thing that can be seen from space. It was beautiful and so strong. Just amazing!

Not much else has been done. We did shopping of course. And found a great food court in Beijing. Such good food!!

So yesterday we caught a bus which took an hour to the airport and got the plane that I wondered if we were even booked for. I had found the tickets on a chinese website and we had got them for $400 NZ each but when we got them we found out we'd got them for 25% of what they were worth!!! So I was pretty sure they were fake but turned out they weren't! So flew to Shanghai and saw an amazing sunset there and then on to Tokyo. After another 2 hours on the train we got to our hostel in Yokohama. Was a very long day and we were so tired but very excited to be here in Japan!!

We are into the last week now. Kinda sad but also really looking forward to not living out of a backpack! And seeing everyone again too. We have another 3 nights in Japan and then we have 4 nights in Melbourne with my bro Jem and his partner Eva and I am getting really excited about that! Will be great to see familiar faces again.

We have loads of stories and pictures and memories but now that I'm writing the emails I can't remember them all. Often I have these moments where I go Wow I'm in Japan or China or Tibet and it's just amazing. I planned this for so long and then suddenly it's nearly over. But we have had the best time and I would have been absolutely lost without Tahu. He has been so good to me when I am sick or tired or unhappy. I would have been very lonely if I'd been here on my own for sure.

Nepal is BEAUTIFUL!

2009-10-09T20:58:00.000+13:00

So we survived our 3 days in India. So glad we had organised a guide because it was way more full on then Bangkok and everything was just different. We spent our first night in Delhi and then next day we drove to Jaipur and saw this amazing fort and palace and observatory where there was the worlds biggest sundial which was way more impressive then in sounds! It is accurate to within 2 seconds and was hundreds of years old. Tahu and I were both struck with how western culture thinks it's so smart with it's technology and cranes and electricity but yet hundreds of years ago people were doing amazing things like airconditioning, calenders, clocks and all that stuff and making it so beautiful and long lasting. Definitely impressed.

The next day we drove to Agra which was again an experience! There are officially no traffic rules in Agra although you often see traffic cops and I have to say that has to be the best job ever because you just stand there and do absolutely nothing! We went to the Taj Mahal there and it was beyond words. Way more then either of us had expected. 81 metres high, marble and inlaid gems, everything is exactly symetrical except for the 2 graves and it's all just beautiful. took 22 years to build. absolutely breathtaking and well worth the trip to get there!

There are so many animals everywhere! We've seen camels, elephants, squirrels, dogs, cats, pigs, goats, sheep, monkeys, horses, donkeys...the list probably goes on! A lot of fun spotting the different things! We got to ride an elephant too and our driver texted most of the time and even stopped to buy cigarettes! Most entertaining. We had the most amazing driver/guide called Jessie who we really appreciated! If anyone is planning a trip to India please contact us and we will give you the details as the country would be very hard to navigate on a short time on your own I think. But maybe it was just us not being seasoned travellers!

The next day was Tahu's birthday but we had to get up at 3am to drive to Delhi and catch a flight to Nepal. A lot of travel by car, bus, plane, bus, car, in that order! Poor Tahu was sick too which does not make for much fun! But we survived.

Kathmandu is just amazing. Nepal is just so green and so big! The people are amazing but I will tell that story later! Nepal is definitely somewhere we recommend!!

All the places we've been staying while on this organised tour part have been amazing. So flash! We are very spoilt. Yesterday we had an ausy guy called John join us for the sightseeing part which was cool. We went to the Monkey Temple and a couple of other places and also the place where they cremate bodies. Now can I just say we did not ask to see this and that we thought we're just see the outside and the smoking chimney but no. You walk down this river and there are bodies being cremated the whole way. It was truely hard to see and we all felt like intruders although there were hundreds of tourists. The people had all died that morning. Not sure I can really tell everything we saw. Hard to explain. The ashes are washed into the river and we saw a guy cleaning his teeth beside them and there were kids swimming!! A little disturbing to say the least!

Yesterday morning we went on a flight up to see Mt Everest. It was mostly covered in cloud but we were stoked just the same and then we got our money back cos they said it wasn't good enough!! $300USD. Oh yes that did make it so much better!!

Ok the big adventure would be last night! We had to drive to Nagarkot which is way up in the mountains and about 2 thirds of the way there our car got a flat tyre. Not a big deal except that the spare was flat too. So the driver jumps on a truck down the hill and gets someone to tell us that he'll be half and hour. Not so. A guy who lives just up the road let me use his (squat) toilet. Oh the pleasure. And offered us drinks but as it was only meant to be half an hour we said we'd just wait at the car. About an hour and a half later in the pitch black he comes back to us and then another guy stops and after much discussing in broken english and what I assume was Hindi we worked out that he would take us on his motorbike the rest of the way and the other guy would wait with the car. But about a km before the place we were staying at the top of the mountain we hit mud. So we walked the last way hoping we were going in the right direction! At one point 2 men walked for some of the way with us and we still don't know why although it might have been that we had a torch. Can I just say to Dad at this point thank you so much for making me keep that yellow torch?? For some reason I had it in my bag and so at least we could see! We made it there in the end!! But really were amazed at how kind these people were. It was so dark and completely out of their way and they helped us without a second thought. A bit of an adventure for sure! We got to this super flash hotel and found not hot water, a phone that didn't work, no towels, the tv didn't work and no heating or aircon. Not quite ideal after the trip there but somehow it was still great!

So tomorrow we are starting the drive to Lhasa in Tibet. It will take 5 days and we're told its one of the most beautiful drives in the world. We cross into Tibet tomorrow and again it is great timing as the border has been closed since the 21st and is only open from tomorrow. We have had great timing the whole way really. Like the sun came out at the sundial, it rained up until the day we went to the Taj Mahal and the flight to everest the day before was cancelled because of the rain! We at least got to go up and see it. Also I missed a Typhoon in Cambodia and there was massive flooding in India but we saw nothing. Lets hope this keeps up as a typhoon is due to japan yesterday i think!

Ok better go, got shopping to do and I think I've covered everything!

Feeling better now

2009-10-04T18:16:00.001+13:00

It's so nice having Tahu here with me. If it's possible I had forgotten how great he is to have around and we are both really similar in what we like doing and all that. Not feeling fragile any more for the record!

We're off to India tonight which is scary but will be fun for sure!

Cambodia, Thailand and tonight..India!

2009-10-04T18:14:00.000+13:00

So I've left it so long since my last update that now I have to try and remember everything I have done!

On Wednesday last week we flew in this tiny plane up to Rattanakiri and spent 2 nights there. We went to the prison twice and I played pharmasist while the others did medical checks. Was quite full on to be honest and I was glad when we left and had an afternoon of sightseeing. We went to Crater Lake and had a picnic which was just amazing and then (on Motos of course) we went to a waterfall. Had to walk into the bush a bit and it was just amazing. We could go behind the waterfall and everything.

We flew back to Phnom Penh on Friday and it was a VERY rough flight especially for a little plane and a couple of us (yes I was one of them) had the pleasure of spewing during the flight! Oh such fun. Was glad to be home for sure!

Saturday we went to Kantal Prison again with the Dentist team and in the evening I went with Annie to Lakeside which is a slum area. They live right on the train tracks and we were standing there going man these houses would get destroyed if a train came through and then not long after one did and nothing got damaged cos they knew it was coming and moved all their awnings or whatever off the tracks! Definitely impressive to see.

Sunday was my last teaching session and Monday I went to the International University for a bit and did some last minute shopping.

Tuesday was really hard because there were goodbyes. Most of the children weren't around which was good because it was hard enough saying goodbye to the few that I saw!! In the afternoon I caught a flight to Thailand and hung out at the airport for a few hours until Tahu's flight arrived! Was so good to finally see him but because I'd spent hours worrying about how to find him and if he'd get through customs ok it took me til the next morning to relax and actually be happy!

So we've been here a few days and have done a lot of shopping and just looking around. We've spent a day or so just chilling at the backpackers too which was very much needed! Tahu got a suit custom made and it looks AMAZING!! I am very impressed. I got glasses and contacts and we both got clothes and other random things. A lot of fun shopping but not so fun trying to pack it all this morning!

Yesterday we successfully caught a bus to Kanchanaburi and saw the Bridge over the River Kwae and the war museum and just looked around there for a few hours. Was very hot though so lots of viewing everything from the shade!

Tonight we are catching a flight to India. We have a night in Delhi, a night in Jaipur and a night in Agra. Wednesday we are going to the Taj Mahal and then flying to Nepal and it is also Tahu's birthday! What a way to celebrate eh!

2009-09-26T20:19:00.001+12:00

Also has anyone noticed that I'm up to 20 books on my list of what I've read this year?? Click on each book if you want to know what they're about.

Feeling a little fragile

2009-09-26T20:15:00.003+12:00

I think it's cos I'm really tired and have a headache. I love being here but it's very full on and you see so much that you just can't fix.

Very much looking forward to seeing Tahu on Tuesday. Only 3 more sleeps!! Will miss Annie and my orphans though.

Does anyone remember me? I feel like I've been gone for so long and everyone will have forgotten who I am.

Dentists, haircuts and HIV

2009-09-22T01:25:00.001+12:00

It feels like ages since I’ve last done an update but probably it’s only a few days. I’ll try and remember everything!

I went to the dentist for the first time in nearly 8 years the other day. It cost me $30US and I got a tiny filling that didn’t even need an injection and an xray and my teeth cleaned of course. My first thought is what a relief that there was nothing wrong and my next one is that I’m stoked I haven’t wasted time, money and energy going to the dentist every year for a checkup!

On Friday we took 4 of the girls from the orphanage out for the day. They are 16, 14, 13 and 7 and we all got our nails done and some of us got haircuts too. I got one and it cost $1.50. Bit shorter but all good. Can’t complain at that price!!

Yesterday and today we have gone to the orphanage just to play with the kids. They are all so excited to see us and come running and all want hugs and cuddles. Got some gorgeous photos because they love having pictures taken and then I can show them right away because my camera is digital. Also I’ve taken bubble mixture most times and that makes for a lot of fun. Today when it had all quieted down I found one little boy crying. He was obviously very tired and so I held him til he fell asleep and then put him to bed. He was just so cute! Again I’ll send the photo out another time. It is so nice to be able to give these kids the attention because as much as they are so well cared for they can’t always have cuddles or fall asleep in someones arms.

It is quite obvious to us now that these children are sick and in some cases dying. I try really hard to think about it but it’s hard not to see the sores or hear them coughing. One wee boy has a growth on his nose which Annie tells me is actually cancer and as with all HIV people it will spread very quickly.

There is one wee girl who arrived last week. She is 6 months old. Her name is said ShinShin but everyone calls her Lulu. She is just gorgeous and all smiles whenever she sees me except today because she is sick. And it’s not like when we get a cold, it can be life threatening every time. We have all fallen in love with a child or 2 and for me Lulu is one of them. I have lots of photos and will be very sad to say goodbye. We have talked a bit about adoption but the general consensus is that even if we could (HIV children aren’t allowed to be adopted) then it would be unfair to take them away from their culture and family and friends. A tough decision to make but we can see the reasons behind it.

We had one of our team members go home yesterday. We are all here for different lengths of time and what a mixture we are! Ron Morrison has been here teaching budgeting, forecasting and cashbook and his students all loved him as did we. He has been a lot of fun to have around.

Next there is Dr Scott Gray. He is from Dunedin and was a dentist and then went on to be a professor at the dental school. He is here doing work with the International University and will tomorrow be giving a lecture on something about dentistry. He has handled everything AMAZINGLY well considering his age (he’s 86) and continues to amaze me with his quick wit and never complaining.

There is Dr Annie Chen-Green of course. She is a Chinese born kiwi and has endless energy and ideas and is constantly in meetings! I’m sharing a room with her and we have had a lot of fun. Also handy when I was very sick last week as she threw pill after pill at me to fix everything that was wrong!

We also have Sheena staying with us. She is 24, from Rotorua and is here with another team but while they are out of town she’s been staying with us.

So we get a lot of looks, an 86 year old western man, a very white western girl (that’s me), a Chinese woman, a little person (Ron is a dwarf) and a tall Maori girl. What a mixture but so much fun.

This weekend has been a long weekend here in Cambodia. It is the Festival of the Dead which sounds awful but is actually about honoring and celebrating your ancestors.

On Wednesday Scott is going home and Annie and I are flying up to the North and will be doing medical checks on the border of Cambodia and Laos. As Annie said we will be guessing as to who has HIV and who has TB and whatever else they have! Will definitely be an experience.

Ok until next time!

Dentists everywhere!

2009-09-14T17:04:00.001+12:00

At first I thought it was because we're doing a lot of work here with CTAP which is a dental charity that works with people in the prisons and slums but actually it's because there are no regulations here on dentistry and so there are loads. Just cos a place says it's a dentist doesn't mean a dentist works there!

This is actually my second attempt at this email. I lost my last one when sending! It was really long too! So annoying!

So I'm in Phnom Penh in Cambodia. I landed here on Friday. Was really nervous coming through customs because I had over 6kg of medicines and dental equipment. None of it is illegal but if they find I had it I would more then likely have to pay them money (bribes) to get it through and I have NO experience in that! But when I'd got my visa and through passport control a man and a woman approached me. One was Dr Sonita who is a dentist with CTAP and the other was her relative who works in Customs. They got my bag and my form and just walked me out! Was so crazy and a relief! Yesterday we went and did the same thing for the last member of our team, Ron Morrison. It was quite surreal going through customs to meet him. Would never happen in NZ or Aus!

On Saturday morning we were picked up at 7am to go to one of the prisons in Phnom Penh. We spent the morning there doing tooth extractions, fillings and medical checks. Well everyone else did. I walked around and did things like take photos! I held one female prisoners hand while they did something to her teeth but I couldn't watch! No way I could be a dentist eh. There is every kind of person there. We were beside the teenage boys area and behind us were the men. To get in we walked past the womans area and if a woman has children who can't be looked after by anyone else then they are in there too. There was one gorgeous little girl who watched us nearly the whole time! I went and talked to her but she went all shy and it's hard with a translator. I will send out a photo when I can. The prisoners are either in normal clothes or a blue top and pants. The ones in normal clothes are waiting for sentencing or trial. This is one of the nicest prisons here. Lots of flowers and bushes and the prisoners were all relaxed and some even joking with the guards. All claim to be innocent apparently and here they might just be telling the truth. They have a factory, a garden and a room where people (woman mostly) are taught sewing skills so they have something to do when they leave. I was nervous at first to be right in the middle of a prison but there were no problems. Everyone just watched us! I wasn't sure whether the random white girl or the dental work was more interesting.

In the afternoon I helped Huy (said like hoi) work out how to use his mac laptop. It has been donated to CTAP and as Huy is in charge of 3 orphanages he gets to use it. He looks after about 300 orphans. One of the orphanages has about 90 children in it and they are all HIV or AIDS children. This is where we are teaching out of over the next few days.

I had to go home sick yesterday which was REALLY disappointing but how I got home was on a moto (motorbike). It was SO MUCH FUN! It was not nearly as scary as I thought, you feel really safe! Or maybe Khov was just a good driver. He is a orphan that is involved with CTAP in the livlihood project. He was given this moto to use the day before yesterday to use to make money by taking passengers and so on. He lives in a Wat with the monks. A wat is a temple.

Here an orphan can mean a child with only one parent because here they see that if a parent is on their own they have to work twice as hard so aren't around as much.

Not sure what else is planned for the rest of the week but that's what I was expecting. You never know what to expect!

Delayed, delayed, delayed...but not Cancelled!

2009-09-11T14:29:00.000+12:00

I've made it to Bangkok! It took me over 30 hours instead of 24 though because my flight from Melbourne to here was delayed from 1.55pm to us leaving more like 8pm! To be honest it wasn't a problem for me. I was aware that with all my flights I was going to get delayed and I got a free dinner, $50 voucher for my next booking and if I'd wanted it there was free tea, coffee and softdrinks on the flight. But actually I slept over 7 of the 9 hour flight. We got to Bangkok at 2am local time (that's 7am NZ time) and I got through customs without even getting asked to declare anything and then even managed to find a guy from my hotel to take me there. He was like you were meant to be here at 9pm, as if I needed that pointed out! My room is just what I needed. Clean, QUIET, so good.

I have to say though that not all the passengers on my flight were as happy to wait around as me! One guy had the airport police called on him and so he was not allowed to go on the flight. Other people had transfers that they will have missed but if you have travel insurance that's not really a problem (Note: never fly long haul without travel insurance!). Another guy was meant to be in London today for a wedding and so he won't be able to make it but well maybe he should have planned that a bit better!

Ok this isn't the most interesting of updates but never mind. I am SO STOKED to be here! I was prepared for a pretty bad night considering how long I would have travelled for and that I would be on my own and a few other things but actually being here was just amazing. Happy Jo! I recommend it to everyone!

The countdown is at zero!

2009-09-10T10:50:00.002+12:00

Has anyone noticed the countdown that's on the sidebar of this blog? It's been counting down to when I leave for my trip. And I left this morning. And now I'm in Melbourne airport wasting time as my next flight isn't for another 5 hours (!!!) and I just noticed that my blog countdown has all zeros! I have been through so many different things today! This morning I was feeling awful: scared, tired, sore and for a while there I had visions of myself spewing on mum and dads carpet because I felt so bad. But survived that. Got to the airport and have managed the first flight. I slept most of it. Now I feel: excited, tired, sore, positive, proud. Proud because I have followed through with this trip and I had first said I'd do it about 2 years ago. Is it wrong to feel proud? Pride is almost always a negative thing. Not for me today. Today it is positive because feeling good about me and what I do is something I very rarely do!

More to come later.

3 nights to go!

2009-09-07T09:31:00.003+12:00

So it's Monday. Tomorrow is my last day at MYOB. I got a new job last week which I am really excited about. Working for Acclipse (which is actually our competition). I will be a Training Consultant. That means I train the clients on how to use our software (accountant practice management software) and create the material. Also it means a payrise, new challenges, my own office and I'm based in town so lunch with the niece and nephew! (haha Denise and Denephew) I start Nov 4 after I get back from my trip.

Speaking of the Trip, I leave on Thursday! It's come up so fast but can't wait now. 8 weeks in Asia. BRING IT ON! Actually just looked and it's 7.5 weeks. Close enough!

Had such a busy weekend! But managed to see everyone I needed to see and do groceries, 3 loads of washing and get almost everything I need for my trip. Just got to pack and pick up a couple of last minute things like hairties and a toothbrush and I'm all ready. Well it's not quite that simple but close enough!

While I'm away I'm hoping to be updating this blog quite regularly. Although it will probably say very similar to what I send out in emails. And also am going to be keeping a journal of everything so I don't forget!!

3 weeks tomorrow til I see Tahu. I'm so excited.

Tuesday Night Drama!

2009-08-26T08:24:00.002+12:00

My flatmate Heather and I both got home within 5 mins of each other last night and neither of us noticed anything wrong outside. About 10 mins later when I was going to bed I realised I'd left my phone in my car which I never do so I went to get it and while I was out there I could smell smoke really badly so I got Heather and we looked around and found one of the dumpsters was on fire! Had to call the fire brigade and the caretaker and let the fireman in and all that. By the time they got there the fire was melting through the plastic it was that full on. If we had been another 10 mins in finding it they said it would have set the fence on fire and then who knows what would have happened! It took them a few minutes to put it out with their full on fire hoses so it wasn't just a small fire. Don't know yet whether it was lit or whether it was oil or something in the bin that had self combusted (that's their words by the way, I'm not just making it up!)

I do feel like someone was watching over us last night because I never leave my phone in the car and there was no other reason for me to have gone out there and no one else from the apartments came out even when the fire brigade were there.

If only that someone had made me realise I had left my phone in the car BEFORE I put my pj pants on.

Photo retouching

2009-08-20T09:33:00.002+12:00

This website has brilliant examples of how photos in magazines are edited. I knew they did it but didn't realise there was so much editing, including slimming down and beefing up and taking away all freckles and so on. Well worth a quick look!!

Remembering Lynley

2009-08-19T08:50:00.002+12:00

Today is a year since Lynley passed away. I can't believe it's a year already. It feels a little wrong that life kept going for me but for Graeme and John and Leanne it has probably stopped.

I think she'd be stoked with how our family has come together though. It is very hard to see the good in someone dying but we can all see that through her we've got back in touch and not just that, we've spent time together. I go and visit my uncle and aunty every couple of weeks and while I was in Ausy, Tahu and I went and stayed the night up on the Sunshine Coast with my cousins. Was so nice just spending time with them and getting to know each other. I'm sure I can say on behalf of all of us, Thank You Lynley.

So today my family is at the front of my mind, Uncle Jack, Aunty Pat, cousins Karen and Mick, Graeme, John, Leanne, Kylie and Steve, Talia, Chloe, Levi, Carlene and Andrew and, of course, Lynley.

Defeated

2009-08-17T10:26:00.004+12:00

That's The Feeling of the Day.

Will I ever be as good as everyone else?

I have been reading blogs a lot recently. Everyone has beautiful photos and interesting things to write. Why do the photos I take never look that good? The colours are never as bright, the positioning never as good. I have tried putting up pictures and whatever but I just feel like I'm boring. Like it looks like I'm trying.

And will I ever stop relying on my parents? I'm 25. It seems like everyone else can live sufficiently on their own but for some reason I am always going to my parents for support, like advice or comfort or whatever. And they always give it to me and I will never be able to repay them for what they do for me. But surely my living independantly would be a small repayment wouldn't it?

And work is just getting me down. I wrote up this email recently and sent it to my managers about why they should promote me/change my role and I've had nothing back. I really thought they'd at least say well done we will consider it. Instead all I got was sorry that's someone else's decision.

I feel defeated. I can't even write about all the things that make me feel defeated. One of my very dearest friends cooked me dinner on Friday night and she said how when she first saw me at work she thought how "cool" I was with my piercing and how I dressed. It made me laugh because I just don't know how she thought that!

I go to Cambodia in just over 3 weeks and I feel like I'm not even doing that right. I don't have as much money as I had planned. I'm teaching IT which it feels like everyone laughs at. I've not lost any of the weight I need to lose.

Ugh!

Jo Brown: Epic Fail.

National PJ Day

2009-08-14T09:31:00.003+12:00

So feeling a little run down. Tired as and just needing a day off. So Sunday will be a PJ day I think. We sometimes have these in our flat. It's where we try and spend a whole day in our pyjamas, just relaxing on the couch. Bit of a recharge day. Anyone want to join me?

Heading back to Christchurch tonight

2009-08-11T14:37:00.002+12:00

I'm no good at goodbyes....and today I have to say goodbye to Tahu for 7 weeks. Trying to focus on the fact that next time we see each other will be in Thailand and that this is the last time we have to do long distance as he will be moving back to Christchurch in November. Still not fun today though.

New Look

2009-08-06T14:59:00.004+12:00

Do you like my new picture/logo/thingy at the top? The 4 photos are ones I took too which makes me like it more. And actually I think it looks cool and would you believe I made it ENTIRELY in Microsoft Word? Yes I do like that program.

I've always thought of myself as the least talented person in my family. And by that I mean I have no special talents. Shaz can sing and write songs and Jem can play any instrument you give him and make beautiful music and Deb can make anything she wants with her hands. She's so artistic. And then there's me. I think my talent (if you can call it that) is that if you ask me to make something on a computer I can do it. I can't draw to save myself but on a computer I can do almost anything. And maybe that graphic isn't everyone's cup of tea but I really like it and I like that I used pictures I took because it would have been very easy to grab other images of the internet that looked better but I wanted this to be all mine.

Ok life isn't that bad

2009-08-04T09:28:00.003+12:00

I've been feeling bad about my moaning whinging post from yesterday. Guess sometimes your day just seems worse then it actually is. And I am well aware that others have far worse stuff going on in their lives then me so I shouldn't complain.

Yesterday I went shopping and got Annie Rose and Madi some gorgeous wee clothes. Man they make cute baby clothes these days! I did feel a little pinked out by the end of it! But how can you not buy girlie pink stuff for baby girls!

Have finished the background stitching on my bags cross stitch. Started doing all the detailing on it last night which is actually hard but doesn't take as long as I thought it would. This is by far the hardest one I've ever done. Just so much more too it then plain stitches and then straight outlines! Will put up some photos of it when I get around to downloading pics off my camera.

It's one week today til I go home to Christchurch. It's come around so so fast! Will be very hard leaving Tahu. But fun to be back with my friends and family and it will mean there's only 4 weeks til I head off again. And I get to see Rokocoko who mum tells me looks like a panda! Big and fluffy for the winter.

Is it winter? I forget...was 24 degrees here yesterday. Meant to be like that all week. I don't understand! We're not that far away yet we are so much colder then Brisbane!

Grrr!!

2009-08-03T11:49:00.003+12:00

That's me today. Not literally, I have not become an asian man overnight. But that's how I feel. Frustrated! Angry! Just plain over it. Is it mondayitis? Maybe. Just...frustrated.

Not enough time
Not enough money
Not enough everything!

I feel like I'm stuck in this crappy job and I'd much rather be spending time with people I love and with people that love me and doing stuff I enjoy.

I'm tired of stupid people and even worse...the people who don't realise they're stupid!

Man what a whinger I am today! But lets be honest, we all have these days! Grrr!

2009-07-28T09:57:00.003+12:00

I'm so addicted to cross stitch. I sit at my desk and think about it. I am considering quitting my job so I can stay home and cross stitch. I have got 4 to work on when I've finished the one I'm doing at the moment but it's still not enough. I'm trying to resist going on trademe to find more to buy. Is there a support group for this kind of thing? Can I go on the sickness benefit while I work through my issues (aka finish my cross stitches)?

I Believe...

2009-07-27T16:24:00.002+12:00

...that one day I will have a job I love
...that I won't always struggle when it comes to money
...that life isn't just black and white
...that showers, sleep, good friends and family are good for my soul
....that Tahu is my favourite
...that I will get through my trip and that even though I feel like I've bitten off more then I can chew that I can do it
...that God is my provider
...that you can speak things into someones life even if they can't hear you so you should be careful what you say about others and your self
...that I won't always be fat
...that even though I know it looks awful that I have bad skin it would look worse if I tried to cover it with makeup

I believe lots of things. Some things I have no idea what I believe and so I keep away from those subjects but other things I feel strongly about. I'm not sure I have many readers but if you read this and think of something that you feel strongly about please make a comment of it. Would love to know what others think.

This time in 7 weeks I'll be...

2009-07-24T09:41:00.003+12:00

Ok I'll be asleep. But to be fair I'll be asleep in a hotel in Bangkok and will be flying to Cambodia later on that day! Can't believe how fast this is coming. We have almost all our flights, have found our accommodation and today Tahu is going to get our visas for India. All other visas we can get on arrival but for some reason we have to get the one for India early. And it costs $93AUD ($120NZ)! But I'm glad we only have to get one cos man it is a mission filling out forms and finding proof of everything! Do you know, after putting my name on the form, the next question is what is my father or spouse's name? We don't care where you live but we do want to know your dad or your partner. A little weird. But exciting.

It's all getting very real now. I feel a bit like I've bitten off more then I can chew but keep reminding myself that I got to this point by taking one little step at a time so that's all I have to keep doing. As is the same with everything, if I focus on the big picture sometimes it gets overwhelming. Looking at the little parts and handling them one at a time is much easier!

Transport - Lesson One

2009-07-13T09:04:00.009+12:00

My sister Deb recently set up a blog for my nephew Reuben. He needs different ways of learning and this is one way they are trying. This has got me thinking a lot about how I could help with this and the things I could teach him that would be interesting from my life. I'm living in Brisbane at the moment and he hasn't been here before so it's not something he can visualise. The main thing I think about is that every day I take so many different forms of transport. So here's my first attempt at a "lesson" for Reuben. It's probably not very good but if nothing else, it's a least interesting to me!!

Different forms of transport I take:

First off, to get here I had to get on a plane. It took 3 hours and 50 minutes and I had to catch it at 7am!! I arrived at only 8.50am though because of the time differences (but that's a whole nother lesson!). I will have to get on one to come back too but this time I will catch it after work and so arrive at about 11.45pm! Oh for some normal timed flights!

When I go to work I catch a bus. This takes an hour and isn't very interesting! Cos it's so early and dark I often have to jump out on the road to make them stop for me!:

When I get here I have to get on an elevator to take me up to my office because I work on the 16th floor. Because this building is so tall there are 2 lots of elevators. The first lot stops at floors 1-12 and the second lot, which I get on, goes to floors 13-27 (I think that's how high it goes):

After work I catch a train. This also takes about an hour and I have to go through some underground tunnels to get on this train. It takes me all the way out to a place called Cleveland and I get off at the end of the line:

Some days, when I get off the train, I walk for a while. It's much warmer here then Christchurch. I walk about 2.5km up a gradual hill. These are not my shoes but they look very much like this:

Tahu picks me up after I have walked for a while unless I'm too tired and then he just picks me up from the train station. It's another 15 minutes to get home if he does this:

I should point out that these images are not pictures I've taken but I've tried to get pictures as close to what they look like as possible (That may or may not be Tahu's actual car though!!!) :)

I love flowers

2009-07-11T11:55:00.003+12:00

This week has been a bit up and down. And my darling boyfriend knew this and to "show me how much he loves me" he surprised me with flowers when he picked me up from the train yesterday.

Aren't they gorgeous?

Something isn't right.

2009-07-09T09:54:00.002+12:00

This week 3 boys were killed down south in a car crash thought to involve speed, alcohol, drag racing and road conditions. One of them, a 16 year old, was buried yesterday and his coffin was decorated in Tui stickers. (For those overseas readers Tui is a brand of beer here and also the legal drinking age is 18). There is so many things wrong with that whole situation.

2009-07-07T16:44:00.005+12:00

Ok feeling better today but couldn't think of a pic that would show that I was happy so I thought I'd put up a picture of something that makes me happy:

My lovely family. Including Annie Rose now! Stolen directly from my facebook page I should add, I'm not actually an awesome stickfigure artist!

I feel like this:

2009-07-06T15:22:00.002+12:00