Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Monday, May 06, 2013

More Breastfeeding Inspiration

Love it

My how you've grown!

The hat when he was almost a month old...and then when he's just turned 7 months!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Grandad and Knox

Click on the picture to enlarge it
My dad and my son, I love watching these two together!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Saturday Night Funny

Bad Baby Whisperer!

Recently I read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg. The book was recommended to help learn how to get Knox to sleep better. I know I could have just read the one chapter on sleep but I thought I'd give the whole book a read. Now that was a mistake!

Tracey and I got off on the wrong foot when she started by saying, if you demand feed, how terrible it will be for you, the baby and the family. By the time the baby is 3 months old our life will be chaos, baby will rule, you'll never go out, you'll never have time with your husband, you'll never get to eat together, you probably won't even have time to shower! Now Knox had just reached 3 month and my life couldn't be more different to what she described! We have a great life, Knox has all his needs met, he's happy, healthy, just the best baby. Tahu and I have dinner together every night and we get time to just hang out together too. We go out when we need to, we go out socially as well. And I'm pleased to report that I do shower every day. It really annoyed me that there would be new mums out there reading this book and going oh I really must feed my baby on a schedule cos demand feeding (feeding when the baby wants/needs it) is so bad.

She then talked about reading your baby and learning the different cries. She said she so often sees a baby cry and the mum feeds it when it's not that the baby is hungry. So I spent several weeks feeling bad whenever I fed Knox cos maybe that wasn't what he wanted. But then I thought about it some more and realised that actually, if your baby cries and you can't spot immediately what's causing it then feeding is a great place to start. This probably applies to bottle feeding too but definitely with breast feeding. There are so many things that can upset a baby that is fixed by a bit of milk from mum.
  • If he's hungry - well that's ok cos he gets fed
  • If he's cold - he'll get warmed up
  • If he's hot - you'll feel that when you hold him and know to take some clothes off him or cool the room
  • If he's tired - he'll drop off to sleep right away
  • If he's just needing some comfort - he'll get that cos he's being cuddled and loved by mum!
So while there are other reasons he might be crying, feeding him will rule out quite a few! And if it doesn't calm him and make it ok for him then you'll know to try something else. If your baby cries and you feed him, that doesn't make you a bad parent!!

Now she really had me off side when she started talking about breastfeeding and the "propaganda" that the Le Leche League puts out about how good breastfeeding is. I kid you not. That's what she said. Cos formula companies are so honest with their marketing in the states! She then talked about how it's ok to not breastfeeding if you are worried about what your breasts will look like afterwards. Seriously. There are plenty of reasons why someone might not breastfeed, that's not my business. BUT, to not do it because you are worried about how you'll look afterwards, that's not a valid reason! Also, studies have found that how your breasts look afterwards is from pregnancy, not from breast feeding. So no, that is not a good reason!

All this and I hadn't even got to the sleeping chapter!! Well when I did get there I didn't find it any help at all. It was more letting him cry and all that. Sorry I won't do it. I'll keep getting up in the night to him and I don't care if he doesn't sleep 12 hours at night like it seems every other baby is. I just won't let him cry it out.

Do you get the feeling I really didn't like this book? I found it not only unhelpful, it was downright offensive and stupid! I'll stick to blindly finding my way in this parenting thing thanks. My natural instincts seem to be doing pretty good so far.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

One Last Conversation

It’s almost 6 months now Mere. I wish it wasn’t. It just seems so long. How can it be that long already? I haven’t been to visit you yet. I will bring Knox down soon though. 

So many times I’ve found myself saying “if I could only have one more conversation with her”. And I know I can’t but I do want you to know what I would say. So please pretend that we are sitting together, having a drink, one last time, while you read this wherever you are. 

I want to start this by saying I love you. I know you know this. I know there’s no doubt about how great I think you are but I want you to hear it still. I love you, you’re amazing, I’m so incredibly proud to call you my friend and even more so, that you call me one of yours. 

You are beautiful, talented, funny as hell, just great. There's a depth about you that I love. You are young and have so much ahead of you. In the next few days, weeks, months and years there are so many cool things coming your way. This sadness you feel is honestly only temporary. This pain you can’t explain to any of us: it won’t last. Right now the future seems black, or worse...blank. But it’s actually not. There’s colours in your future that you can’t even imagine! I know now that you don’t realise this, or maybe you do but it just doesn’t seem worth the effort. 

And how do I know all this? Well when I was your age I felt like you do. (I’m sure I told you all this) (there, but for the grace of God, go I) In hindsight I realise that I wanted out of where I was, but death wasn’t my goal. And every day I am thankful that I got through it. I look back on the years since then (feeling old saying that) and so much has happened. So much good stuff! And bad too of course. But more importantly, where I was right then is so different to where I am now! I have a completely different life. The things I loved then are still around but all those things that hurt me, they’re gone. My job is different, my home, my car, even how I look (earthquakes made me fat). If I could have seen then where I am now, well that night would have gone so differently.

Mere you need to talk to someone. There's so many of us that will drop everything for you. You don't have to feel this way. And there are other options. This too shall pass, let us help you through it. 

Sorry, getting too deep here what else would I say to you?

Thank you for helping organise my baby shower. It was a really special afternoon and I won't forget it. You did great, I loved the picture of sperm you drew on the blackboard! So you. Man I hope that got cleaned off before we left! 

And thank you for all the breaks and lunches we had, even if they probably were a bit long! Thanks for listening to me moaning about being pregnant. I hope I didn't put you off too much! Thanks for not telling me how terrible I looked every day. And for when I had that stupid girlie cry at work, thanks for being kind and putting the boys in their place! 

I keep seeing make up sales or products on those one day websites and thinking you'd love them. I hear songs that make me think of you and then I feel worse because I realise you haven't heard these songs even. MAC is even on sale at the moment! You'd be shopping up a storm.

Mere there is so much more we would talk about. Things that are so irrelevant, funny, serious, tangents we can't even imagine! I want to tell you all about the little boy that I have now. The one that you and I talked about so much. You would adore him. And he'd crack up smiling whenever he saw you I'm sure. 

I was going through some clothes for him the other day and found things you and I had got one lunch hour. It was the first things I bought for him and of course you were there with me. It all seemed so tiny then! Would you believe it took almost 5 months for him to be able to fit them cos they were too big? Clearly you and I had no concept of baby size!

I guess there's one thing that I grieve so much when I think of what we would talk about: that there would be such a mix of topics and emotions! We would laugh and I would most definitely cry. But I know I would make sure, as we parted ways, that you knew how much I loved you, how great I think you are and how much you will be missed.