Saturday, March 23, 2013

Bad Baby Whisperer!

Recently I read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg. The book was recommended to help learn how to get Knox to sleep better. I know I could have just read the one chapter on sleep but I thought I'd give the whole book a read. Now that was a mistake!

Tracey and I got off on the wrong foot when she started by saying, if you demand feed, how terrible it will be for you, the baby and the family. By the time the baby is 3 months old our life will be chaos, baby will rule, you'll never go out, you'll never have time with your husband, you'll never get to eat together, you probably won't even have time to shower! Now Knox had just reached 3 month and my life couldn't be more different to what she described! We have a great life, Knox has all his needs met, he's happy, healthy, just the best baby. Tahu and I have dinner together every night and we get time to just hang out together too. We go out when we need to, we go out socially as well. And I'm pleased to report that I do shower every day. It really annoyed me that there would be new mums out there reading this book and going oh I really must feed my baby on a schedule cos demand feeding (feeding when the baby wants/needs it) is so bad.

She then talked about reading your baby and learning the different cries. She said she so often sees a baby cry and the mum feeds it when it's not that the baby is hungry. So I spent several weeks feeling bad whenever I fed Knox cos maybe that wasn't what he wanted. But then I thought about it some more and realised that actually, if your baby cries and you can't spot immediately what's causing it then feeding is a great place to start. This probably applies to bottle feeding too but definitely with breast feeding. There are so many things that can upset a baby that is fixed by a bit of milk from mum.
  • If he's hungry - well that's ok cos he gets fed
  • If he's cold - he'll get warmed up
  • If he's hot - you'll feel that when you hold him and know to take some clothes off him or cool the room
  • If he's tired - he'll drop off to sleep right away
  • If he's just needing some comfort - he'll get that cos he's being cuddled and loved by mum!
So while there are other reasons he might be crying, feeding him will rule out quite a few! And if it doesn't calm him and make it ok for him then you'll know to try something else. If your baby cries and you feed him, that doesn't make you a bad parent!!

Now she really had me off side when she started talking about breastfeeding and the "propaganda" that the Le Leche League puts out about how good breastfeeding is. I kid you not. That's what she said. Cos formula companies are so honest with their marketing in the states! She then talked about how it's ok to not breastfeeding if you are worried about what your breasts will look like afterwards. Seriously. There are plenty of reasons why someone might not breastfeed, that's not my business. BUT, to not do it because you are worried about how you'll look afterwards, that's not a valid reason! Also, studies have found that how your breasts look afterwards is from pregnancy, not from breast feeding. So no, that is not a good reason!

All this and I hadn't even got to the sleeping chapter!! Well when I did get there I didn't find it any help at all. It was more letting him cry and all that. Sorry I won't do it. I'll keep getting up in the night to him and I don't care if he doesn't sleep 12 hours at night like it seems every other baby is. I just won't let him cry it out.

Do you get the feeling I really didn't like this book? I found it not only unhelpful, it was downright offensive and stupid! I'll stick to blindly finding my way in this parenting thing thanks. My natural instincts seem to be doing pretty good so far.


Anonymous said...

Woohoo Jo! Im with you all the way! Your true maternal instinct is best guide.147

Piter Johnson said...

Good post. I like it. Great thank's author for that...

Wanderer said...

Hey! Just stopping by on your post to let you know what a great post this is. I totally agree with you, and I wish people would never be allowed to tell others to 'just let them cry it out.' I think that has got to be one of the worst things you can do. >:| I'm glad you ditched the book!!! Keep going your way, it's infinitely better!

Jo H said...

Hey Wanderer, thanks for your comment! Always good to know someone thinks I'm doing it right!