Monday, June 23, 2008

Uncle Ian

As you have probably seen on my Mum’s blog, my Uncle Ian died yesterday. It is such a strange feeling as I have not actually met him because he didn’t want to meet us. I guess I held the hope that one day he would want to. He’s my uncle, I’m his niece. We are family, how could he not want to meet me? He’s had the opportunities but not ever taken them. To be totally honest I’m hurt and I’m offended by this. I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews and can’t imagine not knowing them. But these feelings are secondary to the fact that I lost my uncle yesterday and my Mum lost her brother. And it’s sad. A death in the family is a death in the family, irrespective of how close you are.

And we were told that Lynley has months not years. It is suspected that the cancer is not just in her lungs, her liver, her skin and her spine but it is now in her brain stem as well. But, thanks to my wonderful friend Kate, I do get to go to Brisbane next month to see her. I haven’t seen her in a long time but suddenly that’s irrelevant and I just want to see her and hang out with them. I’m worrying though about what to say when I see them but I think that’ll just come when the moment does.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Hey Jo, I can understand a little bit of what you feel. My grandfather and some of my uncles and aunts have never wanted to see me or my brothers and sisters because of a choice my parents made (something I had no control over). I saw my Grandfather last 20 years ago and he appeared to have some feelings so I invited him to my wedding nearly 12 years ago but he did not come and didn't even have the decency to write to me and let me know. It is hard to understand how someone older than ourselves who should be wiser could be so uncaring and unfair.
I feel for you hurting over the loss of a relationship that you never got to have and the unfairness of not getting to choose whether you knew this person who is your flesh and blood. My thoughts are with you and your family...
Love Karen