Sunday, July 06, 2008

Emo Blog

Things are good for me. I have a great home in a nearly new house with amazing flatmates. I have a job I really enjoy with people I actually like and they pay me great money. I have a wonderful car that takes me anywhere and everywhere for very little money and looks cool at the same time. I have very few bills, I'm coming off the happy pills I've relied on for a very long time and this means I can finally lose some weight. I have a degree despite leaving school at 16. I've done some pretty cool travel and made some pretty cool friends. Things are all good right now.

But still I am emo. Still I am tired and frustrated by people. I'm tired of having hopes on how a person will be and then constantly being let down by this. What does this tell me? Do I have too higher standards? Do I expect too much from people? Am I a negative person? I'm pretty sure I'm not actually looking for the bad stuff so it's not that.

I am a very sensitive person. I take things personally, I care too much, I expect a lot from people and so I get hurt. And this makes me angry and so I go to sleep most nights thinking about how all I feel is hurt and angry at people who have let me down. What's this about? Is this some psychological thing? Is this normal to have expectations of people and have people not meet these expectation?

This is a confusing post I know because I can't give examples without it giving away the people I'm talking about. Maybe I'm just tired and should go to bed and watch my beautiful new Sony 32" LCD tv.


1 comment:

Andrew and Alice Brown said...

I think it does go to show that relationships are often the most important things in life..

I don't think your standards are too high, it's fair enough to think those things, but it is sad (from the way you make it sound) that it happens often enough with enough people that it gets you down all the time. :(

For me, the way it's ended up, is I've surrounded myself with friends who don't do that, and am not friends much anymore who do (let me down).. works for me :S

Glad to hear everything else is going well though :) happy for you