I'm not really sure what to write but I feel like because today is a big deal to me and I've thought about it a lot that maybe getting it written would be a good idea.
Today it is 10 years since my mum had a stroke. I don't know what the exact diagnosis was but definitely to my 15 year old self it was a massive stroke. She spent about 1 month in Public hospital and then another 2 in Burwood. I think I saw her once on my own in that time. I remember some of my friends and teachers being so amazing. I remember one friend being just awful. Telling me to toughen up, God was in control. Just cos he's in control doesn't mean I wasn't scared and upset!!
It was a Saturday. I remember hearing mums car and cos I knew she was away for the weekend I thought it must have been dad going to get the paper or something. Not long after that dad came in and woke me up. I know now it was mum and Ginny coming to tell dad what had happened. I remember me and Shaz playing speed for hours. Can't play that game now without thinking of it. Still a great game though. I remember how amazing it was to me that the families in the church cooked us meals and that they did it for so long. At first it was every night and then after a while it was every second until we were able to look after ourselves.
I remember a month before hand mum making me stop what I was doing so she could teach me how to use the washing machine and clean a toilet. I remember being like why on earth would I need to know that but realise now it was us being prepared.
I remember the doctor in the ER telling us that it was a minor stroke and that she'd be out in a week or so. I knew my uncle had had a minor stroke and been out the same day. I guess if I'd known how bad it was though I wouldn't have coped.
I remember writing mum letters and getting others to deliver them and when she was allowed home she'd leave one for me.
About a year later I went on an easter camp. I cried for probably hours one night because I realised that I really didn't feel like I had a mum. I had a girl I know pray for me that'd I'd get that relationship back. All I wanted that night was for my mum to hug me with both arms. She couldn't do that at the time. When I got back from the camp, it may have been that day or just a couple later, mum hugged me. But then she brought up her other arm and hugged me with both arms and she was like oh that's the first time I've been able to do that, like it was so not a big deal to me!! If she only knew.
I remember mums first physio at Public. I went with her and at first it was awful for both of us. they put this stupid big blow up arm on her and tried to get her to move her arm. Even I could see that have plastic around your arm on a vinyl bench was making it even harder for her! But then at the end they let her try and walk and she could and that made it all ok. Her arm might not have been great but she could walk. I think we both felt better after that.
I remember mum made friends with random characters when she was in hospital. The lady who owned the Mitre Tavern in Lyttelton who we later went to visit. I think there was a russian sailor in Burwood. Someone who could only talk with a machine.
I remember putting a fake tattoo on her as a laugh and then it hadn't worn off when she went to water therapy and how embarrassed she was when people saw!!
There's so many things to say about it. I guess my overwhelming feelings are how much stuff has happened since then that mum has got to be a part of, like new grandchildren and trips overseas and also how glad I am that she's here. Would be lost without you and dad! But I think you already know that.
Today it is 10 years since my mum had a stroke. I don't know what the exact diagnosis was but definitely to my 15 year old self it was a massive stroke. She spent about 1 month in Public hospital and then another 2 in Burwood. I think I saw her once on my own in that time. I remember some of my friends and teachers being so amazing. I remember one friend being just awful. Telling me to toughen up, God was in control. Just cos he's in control doesn't mean I wasn't scared and upset!!
It was a Saturday. I remember hearing mums car and cos I knew she was away for the weekend I thought it must have been dad going to get the paper or something. Not long after that dad came in and woke me up. I know now it was mum and Ginny coming to tell dad what had happened. I remember me and Shaz playing speed for hours. Can't play that game now without thinking of it. Still a great game though. I remember how amazing it was to me that the families in the church cooked us meals and that they did it for so long. At first it was every night and then after a while it was every second until we were able to look after ourselves.
I remember a month before hand mum making me stop what I was doing so she could teach me how to use the washing machine and clean a toilet. I remember being like why on earth would I need to know that but realise now it was us being prepared.
I remember the doctor in the ER telling us that it was a minor stroke and that she'd be out in a week or so. I knew my uncle had had a minor stroke and been out the same day. I guess if I'd known how bad it was though I wouldn't have coped.
I remember writing mum letters and getting others to deliver them and when she was allowed home she'd leave one for me.
About a year later I went on an easter camp. I cried for probably hours one night because I realised that I really didn't feel like I had a mum. I had a girl I know pray for me that'd I'd get that relationship back. All I wanted that night was for my mum to hug me with both arms. She couldn't do that at the time. When I got back from the camp, it may have been that day or just a couple later, mum hugged me. But then she brought up her other arm and hugged me with both arms and she was like oh that's the first time I've been able to do that, like it was so not a big deal to me!! If she only knew.
I remember mums first physio at Public. I went with her and at first it was awful for both of us. they put this stupid big blow up arm on her and tried to get her to move her arm. Even I could see that have plastic around your arm on a vinyl bench was making it even harder for her! But then at the end they let her try and walk and she could and that made it all ok. Her arm might not have been great but she could walk. I think we both felt better after that.
I remember mum made friends with random characters when she was in hospital. The lady who owned the Mitre Tavern in Lyttelton who we later went to visit. I think there was a russian sailor in Burwood. Someone who could only talk with a machine.
I remember putting a fake tattoo on her as a laugh and then it hadn't worn off when she went to water therapy and how embarrassed she was when people saw!!
There's so many things to say about it. I guess my overwhelming feelings are how much stuff has happened since then that mum has got to be a part of, like new grandchildren and trips overseas and also how glad I am that she's here. Would be lost without you and dad! But I think you already know that.
1 comment:
Darling you bring tears to my eyes as I recall the things you mention!
Thank God I have survived and can move again! Thanx Joey for your kind memories!
Mum xx
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