This Moment

I knew it would come. I didn't think it would come until I met her but it seems to have come already.

In April next year Annie Rose will officially join our family and until a few minutes ago I wasn't overly excited. I knew it would be awesome but when she is still so far from joining us it hadn't quite hit me.

I've just spent a few minutes watching a montage of photos of a little girl called
Kyah Dale Milne which some of you will know of but others may not. I've been following her story for a few weeks and last week she died. Watching those photos was so sad, seeing her going from this gorgeous wee baby to a tiny wee girl playing in a hospital bed.

But what it made me realise is that Annie Rose might not be with us just yet but she will be and I guess I've remembered all the cool stuff I get to see her do as she grows up. Things like hearing her laugh for the first time, hearing her voice when she first starts talking, all that stuff.

I guess what was holding me back was that my niece Chrissy is 15 and she is the coolest person I know. She's become an adult now and I can have conversations with her and hang out with her and I'm just amazed at how cool she is. I'm almost embarrassed to hang out with her cos she's so beautiful and cool and amazing and I'm just me. I went and saw her in a play the other weekend and she was great and she has just got her nose pierced and it's just so exciting having her as a mate and not just as a niece or a little girl. And it seemed like it's so far away that I'll have this with Annie Rose. 15 years! But now I've remembered that it might be 15 years til I get that fun stuff that I have with Chrissy right now but there's also 15 years of fun stuff before that.

I miss travelling

Today I really wish I could be travelling again. I know I have big plans for next year and that this time next month I'll be on a plane to Melbourne but I really wish I could do more than that. I've been looking at people photos on facebook and I miss it so much! I miss that packing, flying, seeing, photographing, that whole thing that goes with it. I miss making stories to tell when I'm old!

I was once asked what I wanted to be when I was old and I said happy. I want to be that old lady in a home that tells anyone that will listen the cool stuff that I've done. And right now I feel like I'm not making those stories. That I'm just in limbo. The limbo with no stories.

But next year, next year I'll make more. Next year I'll travel through Asia and work with kids over there and make great stories.

I just wish I didn't have to wait til next year!

Remember this Shaz?

I saw this Gary Larson cartoon so many years ago and even today it still makes me laugh out loud. If you're not, maybe say the words out loud in a panicked tone.

Pointless Post

I'm not even sure why I'm writing because I'm pretty convinced that nobody even reads this anymore but I guess it's a good thing for me to have when I want to look back later and if any of you know me you'll know that writing is very therapeutic for me.

I went to Stevie Wonder the other day with the lovely Matt Heaney. Honestly he was amazing. His daughter sang too and she has to have the most amazing womans voice I've ever heard. He sang loads of his songs and was so funny. He'd sing a verse and chorus of each song. He played for over 2 hours without a break. He's definitely a legend and I would recommend anyone to go see him eh. Also did you know he's only 58? I thought he was way older than that!

I've been staying with my aunty this week as my uncle had an operation. It's been really nice seeing them a lot lately. They are so lovely to me and I'm stoked they seem to like having me around!

Tomorrow it is a year since Shelley died. I can't believe it's a year already. I presume there are blogs about this but recap is that she was a girl I went to school with and she had breast cancer and died at only 24. I think about her so often. We weren't close but she was someone I absolutely admired.

For so long I didn't have anyone close that had died. When I was 8 my granddad died, a guy I went to school with was killed when we were 18 but in the scheme of things I had been so lucky. Now within a year I've had Shelley, my uncle Ian and my cousin Lynley die. It is something I still can't get my head around and I really don't know how to deal with it. For me, talking about them, writing about them is what seems important. That others know that someone really special and really amazing isn't here anymore. Hard to explain I guess.

Anyways...enough for today.