Saturday, May 14, 2005

Trading Spouses

This is quite full on for my first blog but it has to be said. I have to say it.

I watched this program last night. Not too sure why I did. I think it was cos I didn't want to go to sleep but also didn't want to watch 20/20.

Last night's episode was a jewish woman swapping with a christian woman. seems easy enough. but this christian woman. man she annoyed me. she sat the kids (teenage girls) down and got a chocolate bar and did the sex talk with them. "Each person you sleep with is like taking a bite out of this bar. If you sleep with lots of people when it gets to your husband you've got nothing left to give him". But that's so wrong! What's she actually teaching these girls? that all we have to give to our husbands is sex. That if I sleep with someone and then when it comes to marrying someone else I have nothing to give him. that's rubbish. I'm a cool person! I have lots to give. I'm funny and cool and creative and I like who I am. Just ask my mum. I'm cool. He's lucky to have me choose him (and only him) to love for the rest of my life. Just cos I may have loved someone else before him doesn't mean I have nothing left to give him. There is so much more to me and what I have to give to a marraige then sex.

Am I wrong here? Am I overreacting? yes most likely but it had to be said.

23 comments:

Andrew said...

Mabye it was a Moro bar, and had lots of Caramel on the inside. And the Sex was just the chocolate coating

Sharyn said...

Hahahah Andrew you are SO funny. I'd still eat the moro bar, even if the chocolate had already been eaten.

And JO! Welcome to the wonderful world of Blogging - where "YOU have the microphone, and we will listen to every damn word you have to say"!!!! (ahahah thanks wedding singer)

Elizabeth said...

So I put 2 comments on your blog yesterday or saturday maybe... where did they go?? Does George Bush or Bob Jones or whoever now have my opinion of such chocolate on his blog comments slot?

Jo said...

I got your comments mum in my email. Don't know why they're not on the site!

Andrew so exciting to see my name on your blog! I feel so special!

Shazzakins...I jazz chord to say i ruv rooo!! I have that song in my head. Just sang it to all my friends.

Elizabeth said...

I thought of using that song in English but they may not get the joke! its a good one :-)

James said...

You over reacting Jo - Never

Anonymous said...

nice way to justify pre-martial sex jo. i supppose if you love 2 people at once then orgies are ok too?

Jo said...

I'm tempted just to delete your comment.

That's an interesting way to interpret what I said. your second sentence is fairly pointless. it's not possible to love 2 people at once. you love either one or the other. and also it's not really an orgy if there is only 3 people.

in future I will just delete your comment if you don't use your name.

paul said...

my name is paul, happy now? it doesn't make this comment any better just because i have a name but oh well

i just checked out a dictionary and an orgy is "uncontrolled OR immoderate indulgence in an activity" so i would say that more than 2 people involved in sex was an orgy of some description.

it's not really an interesting way to interperate what you said, it's just what it made me think when i read it. yes i agree that it was wrong of her to imply that sex was all a woman has to offer, but you are trivialising the real issue, that pre-marital sex is a bad thing. you're telling yourself it's ok as long as you love someone. "Just cos I may have loved someone else before him doesn't mean I have nothing left to give him." maybe so but sleeping with someone before marriage isn't "loving" someone at all, it's nothing to do with it, you can sleep with someone and not love them and vice-versa. and to be honest i don't think sleeping with someone before you are married is a loving thing to do, as much as you believe it to be at the time.

paul said...

by the way i now have my own blog so you can visit me. im really a nice guy when you get to know me

Jo said...

how did you find my blog? do you actually know me?

I take it from your strong views on sex before marriage that you are a christian. How do you explain your swearing in your other comments? are you saying swearing isn't as bad as having sex out of marriage?

paul said...

what other comments. i commented on this here thing. and no swearing isn't as bad. sure it's all sin but paul does say sexual sin is unlike other sin and they do have seriosuly different repercussions

Jo said...

How did you find my blog? Do you actually know me?

paul said...

not directly, i know someone who does but won't say in case it gets them in trouble

basically jo, are you prepared to have pre-marital sex?

Jo said...

If you don't know me Paul I don't think you have any right to ask me that kind of question.

paul said...

i've met you but you probably don't rememeber me, sounds like you're dodging the question though. you don't respond to anything i say

Jo said...

I'm not dodging the question. I'm just not answering it.

When did you meet me? Where and how? I probably will remember you if you tell me more about it.

paul said...

it was at the superstore but it seriously was briefly, not even sure if you met me actually, just me meeting you. im not trying to offend.

Jo said...

Well I am offended. Who do you think you are to ask me questions like that when you don't even know me? You misinterpret what I say and won't seem accept that this is how I feel and you're not going to change it.

paul said...

how did you come to feel this way?

Anonymous said...

Paul
I think your question to Jo re pre-marital sex was way out of line. It bares very little relation to Jo's original blogpost. I think you owe her an apology.

steve taylor
www.emergentkiwi.org.nz

Annette said...

Hi Jo,

I have just started reading these blog sites - I think it was your Mum told me you had one. In all this debate it is a bit sad that no one has put forward a reasoned response to your comments. You told us what you believe and why, and I was only expecting to read the same sort of response from those who chose to comment.

Jo,I think that you will not be the first or the last person to hold these views. I wish the church could've been more open on this subect when I was a teenager - basically we were scared into behaving and not having sex - because it was preached as being the worst kind of sin next to murder (maybe this is a bit of an exageration on my part!) and the disgrace and shame it would bring to parents and the church! I still remember the hush hush weddings, a premature (yeah right!) baby to explain the 6 month gap between the wedding and birth and there was definitely no wearing white by the bride.

Anyhow, here is what I believe and why. I think not having sex before marriage and also outside of marrige is important because of the biblical view of marriage. It seems to me that God wants us to stay a virgin until marriage because God uses the marriage analogy so often in Scripture.
God often addressed Israel as an adulterer because they chose to worship other gods and in Ephesians it likens the relationship of Christ and the church to a relationship between a husband and wife. Also that much quoted verse "For this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh" which implies that there is no sex until she is his wife.

Choosing to only ever have one person is to me like choosing only to ever worship one God.

I also think God commanded it for practical reasons too - like sexually transmitted diseases, i.e. how big a problem would AIDS be if there was no sex outside of marriage. Also unwanted pregnacies etc.

I also think that later on there could be the issue of trust in a marriage. I would've found it hard if my husband had slept with others before our marriage.

Hey Jo, thanks for blogging. Please keep it up. It is good thought provoking stuff. I had to think seriously about why I believe the way I do - still refining some of my beliefs but it when I look at the whole character of God I cannot believe any other way.

SubversNZ said...

It was brave of you to talk about such a topic online like that Jo, and don't let people moralising at you discourage you.

You are allowed to ask questions and have thoughts aloud. People should not judge you for thinking about stuff.

Please keep blogging.

Other Paul (E*spresso)