I was asked on the weekend if I have ever questioned my faith. Was such a good question. My answer was no. My faith is something I have even when stuff is bad. It's a good times and bad times faith cos otherwise it's just something I do for fun or I use when I can't handle life.
Even though I could answer the question straight away I've thought about it since then. It's weird that this question is actually an answer to what I've been thinking about all year. This year my faith has changed considerably. It's no longer a totally outward thing. It's something I want to do on my own. It's no longer about going to church regularly so that people think I'm still a christian. It's not about staying with the rules and standards I've been bought up with. It's about making the choice to keep on believing even when I don't feel like it and I often feel like it's not the cool thing to do.
I guess this year is my time when I decide what to do with the faith my parents have brought me up in. Do I want to keep it or do I want to leave it behind and let it be something I did when I was young. And if I keep it how do I use it? Do I stay how it is or do I go with what I feel is the right way for me?
As I answered the question it is not an option for me to forget it. I can't and won't deny something that makes me who I am. But I will let it change for me. I think it's like music: it changes from generation to generation but yet the basics are the same. Neither is better than the other, they're just different interpretations.
3 comments:
well i can't say at all that my parents idea of faith was no better or worse as my parents brought me up with no faith so what i have gained through my life is clearly better but i've also seen people completely lose what they have had because they thought they had known better than what they had been brought up with
i'd be interested to hear what you define your "faith" as (i don't mean that to sound mean or whatever if it does)
i'm very tempted to start a new blog under the same name (INTERNET TECHNOLODOGY ALLOWS ME TO DO THIS) and have it more focused on things that matter as opposed to my awesome one i currently have which is about nothing but is hilarious (it is check it out - shameless plug)
I'll have to have a think about how I define my faith. Will get back to you.
You are a winner kid! I do not doubt you. You are even now fulfilling your potential! Go for it!
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