Tuesday Night Drama!

My flatmate Heather and I both got home within 5 mins of each other last night and neither of us noticed anything wrong outside. About 10 mins later when I was going to bed I realised I'd left my phone in my car which I never do so I went to get it and while I was out there I could smell smoke really badly so I got Heather and we looked around and found one of the dumpsters was on fire! Had to call the fire brigade and the caretaker and let the fireman in and all that. By the time they got there the fire was melting through the plastic it was that full on. If we had been another 10 mins in finding it they said it would have set the fence on fire and then who knows what would have happened! It took them a few minutes to put it out with their full on fire hoses so it wasn't just a small fire. Don't know yet whether it was lit or whether it was oil or something in the bin that had self combusted (that's their words by the way, I'm not just making it up!)

I do feel like someone was watching over us last night because I never leave my phone in the car and there was no other reason for me to have gone out there and no one else from the apartments came out even when the fire brigade were there.

If only that someone had made me realise I had left my phone in the car BEFORE I put my pj pants on.

Photo retouching

This website has brilliant examples of how photos in magazines are edited. I knew they did it but didn't realise there was so much editing, including slimming down and beefing up and taking away all freckles and so on. Well worth a quick look!!

Remembering Lynley

Today is a year since Lynley passed away. I can't believe it's a year already. It feels a little wrong that life kept going for me but for Graeme and John and Leanne it has probably stopped.

I think she'd be stoked with how our family has come together though. It is very hard to see the good in someone dying but we can all see that through her we've got back in touch and not just that, we've spent time together. I go and visit my uncle and aunty every couple of weeks and while I was in Ausy, Tahu and I went and stayed the night up on the Sunshine Coast with my cousins. Was so nice just spending time with them and getting to know each other. I'm sure I can say on behalf of all of us, Thank You Lynley.

So today my family is at the front of my mind, Uncle Jack, Aunty Pat, cousins Karen and Mick, Graeme, John, Leanne, Kylie and Steve, Talia, Chloe, Levi, Carlene and Andrew and, of course, Lynley.

Defeated

That's The Feeling of the Day.

Will I ever be as good as everyone else?

I have been reading blogs a lot recently. Everyone has beautiful photos and interesting things to write. Why do the photos I take never look that good? The colours are never as bright, the positioning never as good. I have tried putting up pictures and whatever but I just feel like I'm boring. Like it looks like I'm trying.

And will I ever stop relying on my parents? I'm 25. It seems like everyone else can live sufficiently on their own but for some reason I am always going to my parents for support, like advice or comfort or whatever. And they always give it to me and I will never be able to repay them for what they do for me. But surely my living independantly would be a small repayment wouldn't it?

And work is just getting me down. I wrote up this email recently and sent it to my managers about why they should promote me/change my role and I've had nothing back. I really thought they'd at least say well done we will consider it. Instead all I got was sorry that's someone else's decision.

I feel defeated. I can't even write about all the things that make me feel defeated. One of my very dearest friends cooked me dinner on Friday night and she said how when she first saw me at work she thought how "cool" I was with my piercing and how I dressed. It made me laugh because I just don't know how she thought that!

I go to Cambodia in just over 3 weeks and I feel like I'm not even doing that right. I don't have as much money as I had planned. I'm teaching IT which it feels like everyone laughs at. I've not lost any of the weight I need to lose.

Ugh!

Jo Brown: Epic Fail.

National PJ Day

So feeling a little run down. Tired as and just needing a day off. So Sunday will be a PJ day I think. We sometimes have these in our flat. It's where we try and spend a whole day in our pyjamas, just relaxing on the couch. Bit of a recharge day. Anyone want to join me?

Heading back to Christchurch tonight

I'm no good at goodbyes....and today I have to say goodbye to Tahu for 7 weeks. Trying to focus on the fact that next time we see each other will be in Thailand and that this is the last time we have to do long distance as he will be moving back to Christchurch in November. Still not fun today though.

New Look

Do you like my new picture/logo/thingy at the top? The 4 photos are ones I took too which makes me like it more. And actually I think it looks cool and would you believe I made it ENTIRELY in Microsoft Word? Yes I do like that program.

I've always thought of myself as the least talented person in my family. And by that I mean I have no special talents. Shaz can sing and write songs and Jem can play any instrument you give him and make beautiful music and Deb can make anything she wants with her hands. She's so artistic. And then there's me. I think my talent (if you can call it that) is that if you ask me to make something on a computer I can do it. I can't draw to save myself but on a computer I can do almost anything. And maybe that graphic isn't everyone's cup of tea but I really like it and I like that I used pictures I took because it would have been very easy to grab other images of the internet that looked better but I wanted this to be all mine.

Ok life isn't that bad

I've been feeling bad about my moaning whinging post from yesterday. Guess sometimes your day just seems worse then it actually is. And I am well aware that others have far worse stuff going on in their lives then me so I shouldn't complain.

Yesterday I went shopping and got Annie Rose and Madi some gorgeous wee clothes. Man they make cute baby clothes these days! I did feel a little pinked out by the end of it! But how can you not buy girlie pink stuff for baby girls!

Have finished the background stitching on my bags cross stitch. Started doing all the detailing on it last night which is actually hard but doesn't take as long as I thought it would. This is by far the hardest one I've ever done. Just so much more too it then plain stitches and then straight outlines! Will put up some photos of it when I get around to downloading pics off my camera.

It's one week today til I go home to Christchurch. It's come around so so fast! Will be very hard leaving Tahu. But fun to be back with my friends and family and it will mean there's only 4 weeks til I head off again. And I get to see Rokocoko who mum tells me looks like a panda! Big and fluffy for the winter.

Is it winter? I forget...was 24 degrees here yesterday. Meant to be like that all week. I don't understand! We're not that far away yet we are so much colder then Brisbane!

Grrr!!

That's me today. Not literally, I have not become an asian man overnight. But that's how I feel. Frustrated! Angry! Just plain over it. Is it mondayitis? Maybe. Just...frustrated.

Not enough time
Not enough money
Not enough everything!

I feel like I'm stuck in this crappy job and I'd much rather be spending time with people I love and with people that love me and doing stuff I enjoy.

I'm tired of stupid people and even worse...the people who don't realise they're stupid!

Man what a whinger I am today! But lets be honest, we all have these days! Grrr!